- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Background: Fi proposed without a ring on Nov. 19 when we were on vacation in the Dominican Republic. I always said I didn’t want an engagement ring this time, and I meant it. I’ve been married before, my first husband passed away when I was 27 and the jewelry I have from that marriage is very sentimental to me (and Fiance is absolutely NOT fazed by this, he encourages me to keep things that are meaningful to me close if I want to, he’s amazing), and because I’m self employed and have lost clients recently…I think the money would be better spent elsewhere. I still believe this, I don’t NEED an engagement ring to be engaged (nothing wrong with women that want them, I just wasn’t one of them this time). Maybe it’s because my first time around we waited an extra year to get engaged JUST to get the ring I wanted, and when he died I felt like we wasted precious time? I don’t know, but that’s how I feel and I’m OK with that. I have a diamond 3 stone ring that I bought when my husband died (I had asked for it for Christmas, but he passed away around Thanksgiving so I got it for myself), and a ‘widow’ ring I had made out of my original engagement ring. Once Fiance and I became engaged, I started wearing the 3 stone on my left hand which I had planned on doing until we got married and I would then just wear a band. Both diamond rings I wear daily and are 1 ct each, so purchasing anything smaller because it was in our current budget didn’t appeal to me, I hated the very thought of putting a beautiful 1 ct ring in my jewelry box to wear something smaller. I have no problem with small rings, if I didn’t have any diamonds it would be a different story. Fiance was fine with this, I was fine with this, life was good.
Well, once we announced our engagement, we were bombarded with ‘Where’s the ring?’ questions and Fiance was a little hurt and felt like he had done something wrong in proposing without one. I assured him I was still fine with our plan, but the more people asked questions, the worse he felt. So, we went jewelry shopping. I wasn’t expecting a ring after this, but he wanted to look so I did. I fell in LOVE with a style by Verragio, and went to a local jeweler that ended up selling similar styles…not as intricate but still beautiful and at a much smaller price. I loved the look of these more than the Verragio, because I didn’t want anything too fancy because that’s just not my style. I ended up choosing a style close to what I was originally looking at, but they didn’t have it in stock. The jeweler offered to order it for us, and when it came in we could look and if we liked it we could buy it and if not they would put it in the display case for others to look at. Fine, no real commitment to buy, no problem.
He called the jeweler this weekend (we went shopping the weekend after Thanksgiving) and not only have they not ordered it yet, but now because of Christmas they have no idea when they’ll get it in, but it most definitely will not be before Christmas, unless there’s a miracle. I can’t help but be dissapointed. I didn’t ask for a ring, I didn’t want one…but once I had the sparkly new ones on my finger I couldn’t help but love it. I’m not exactly ‘ring-less’ and the idea of spending money on a ring when there are so many more logical things to spend it on is ridiculous for me, but it’s dissapointing. So for now I still wear my 3 stone as an engagement ring (which is beautiful, and I would miss wearing it if I replaced it anyway) but I needed to vent to the Bee’s who hopefully wouldn’t think of me as a spoiled brat, LOL.
I guess, underneath all my logic is the girly part that wants something new and sparkly to show off. My 3 stone is beautiful but I feel like everyone has already seen it and it’s not ‘exciting’, but for now it has become my engagement ring. Luckily, for now I feel good that we didn’t spend the money on a ring, and my Fiance can tell anyone who makes snarky comments that we’re still shopping so he’ll feel better.