Post # 1
I need help, I have started to get into the bulk of wedding planning. At the beginning I suggested to Fiance that we set a budget. He said we will pay whatever it gonna cost us. I told him an average wedding in our area will cost $20000 and I will be DIY a lot of projects.
Here’s the thing, I have nothing saved for the wedding, I live pay check to paycheck. Fiance will be paying for the whole wedding with his savings. (which I have no clue what he has saved). I can’t seem to get the courage up to ask him what he has in his bank account. I am starting to feel pretty guilty about not contributing to the wedding financially. Recently since I started to ask him to pay for things and buy certain wedding items, he has made remarks about being too pricey or how we will be broke after the wedding. I am starting to get worried and frustrated, he hasn’t been much help in the planning department. I just want to get married.
How much did your Fiance contribute to the wedding? Did you have any saving for the wedding? Did you both open a wedding account to save money or did you combine finances and just use money from a joint account?
Post # 4
personally, i think that if you are going to get married, you should be able to talk about money openly first. it’s almost impossible to plan a wedding unless you know exactly how much you can spend.
my Fiance and i opened a joint bank account shortly after we got engaged, and we both have been putting portions of our paychecks in our savings account to use for the wedding. i also put all of my savings in from before i even met him, so most of the wedding is technically going to be paid by me.
Post # 5
You should absolutely sit down and have an up front conversation with your Fiance. It’s definitely a lot harder and a lot more stressful to try and plan your day without a frank conversation about the expectations for budget and wedding planning. A marriage is supposed to be all about communication right? 🙂 If you don’t have a direct discusson about the wedding and the budget, then you may end up with a wedding that is more stressful on both of you (both financially and emotionally) than you anticipated.
Post # 6
@Dolcebabe: You need to talk to him. Its kind of like talking to your Fiance about debt, its never a great conversation but its always best to know going in, what you’re really getting into.
Maybe start with something along the lines that you want to make sure you keep the budget reasonable and low and you don’t want to wipe out the savings so if you knew, you’d know what to keep it under. eg. even if he has 20,000 saved, you don’t nessesarily want to use all 20k on the wedding.
Post # 7
I am just so frustrated, we need to figure out our finacial situation. He will not bring it up. I think he is having a hard time accepting that once married it will be ‘our’ money. Maybe it is wrong of me but I do feel Entitled to ‘his’ money.
Post # 8
Well for starters; money needs to be discussed! Do not shy away from the subject; he is your Fiance, you should know what his finances look like!
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Money should be the first thing you talk about after you are engaged. I have access to his accounts and know what he has. I am paying for most of the wedding though since I have more saved. We know how much the other owes on CCs, loans, etc. I just think a couple should be honest in all ways, especially about money.
Post # 10
@Elky: I agree with you totally. Thanks
Post # 11
I guess Im going to have to put my big girl panties on and deal with the situation. I can’t keep waiting around for him to bring the subject up. I just feel like it should be him coming to me to propose the joint account thing…. because he has/makes the money. I dont want to force him into joint bank account, that wouldnt make me look very good.
Post # 12
“Hey babe, I was looking at this venue & I think it might be really nice but it’s a little pricey. I know we talked about our budget and I’m worried that the 20k will empty out your savings. It would make me feel a lot less stressed if I knew how much we would have left after spending the money for the wedding.”
My SO & I are VERY open about money & it makes things so much easier! Definitely just talk to him & ask. I always think this when I’m about to do something that makes me nervous: It’ll be over in 5 mins…5 mins from now & won’t be nervous or worried.
Post # 13
@Dolcebabe: We have been trying for 3 years to get married. Finances, mostly mine (due to job loss) has been the problem. After 6 months at my current job, we are finally caught up on our bills. We have still not paid for ANYTHING for our wedding. But our plan is to open a seperate bank account and each of contribute XXX amount to the account each payday. This account is SOLEY for wedding expenses. I know, it is hard to do anything when you have nothing left over. Just take what ever you can and put it in a seperate account. It may not feel like much, but as the time passes, the amount you will have saved will increase. Try not to be discouraged, it will all come together. Even if you have to scale back on things, your wedding day will still be perfect!
Post # 14
You definitely need to talk money.
I agree with mrs brownie. We opened a joint wedding account and have been putting aside a set amount each month toward the wedding. It also came in handy when my parents and his parents wanted to contribute. We gave them the bank account number and they have also been putting money in.
Post # 15
what if I cannot Afford to save towards the wedding? do you think its unfair that Fiance will be footing the bill?
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@Dolcebabe: Have you thought about just eloping? If you don’t have any money, you feel weird about only him paying for it, it will wipe out some/all of his savings, and he (seemingly) doesn’t want to spend a lot of his money on a wedding… eloping might be just the thing. You can go somewhere cool, hire a photographer to document it all, and share the pictures with all your loved ones.