Post # 1
Member
5 posts
Newbee
So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 and a half years. We have a house and some pets together. We have talked about marriage before but then the issue of money came up. I told him I dont care about a having a huge and fancy wedding. I would be happy with a court date and dinner with some friends and family at a local restaurant afterwards. I just want him to formally propose with a ring. So I find out that there is a family ring that was his grandmothers. I haven’t seen it. But it is yellow gold. And I find yellow gold disgusting. None of my other jewelry is yellow gold. And he knows how much I hate yellow gold. I dont know what to do. But I refuse to where yellow gold. He told me it was yellow gold and he then told me the ring would need the stones reset. I haven’t seen it. But I mentioned the ring wont fit me because I have fat fingers so it needs to be resized anyway. So I mentioned having the stones set into a new white gold setting in my size. Still out of the question and now he is made because this is a family heirloom. Do I just shut up and accept it?
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Squeeks. Reason: spelling
Post # 2
Member
10596 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Ok..this is a sticky situation..what about talking with his mom?..maybe she could understand better and explain this to your boyfriend…also I think you should have it reset if thats what you want..it is an heirloom and it still will be even if you change the setting..you can still pass it down to your children or grandchildren. He should want you to be happy..and you deserve to love your ring! I think it would be even more sentimental if you get a new setting…heirloom diamonds in a new ring just for you!..its the best of both worlds
Post # 3
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
If he is emotionally attached to this family heirloom and you reject it, I would expect him to be pretty hurt. Is it worth that hurt? You could always wear the heirloom ring during the engagement, pick out a fabulous wedding band of your choice, and then only wear your wedding band from your wedding day forward.
Post # 4
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
Squeeks: I think you need to have an honest discussion with him and pick out a new ring. It isn’t fair to you to wear a ring you hate for your entire life, and it isn’t fair to him if you completly change a family heirloom. I guess you just have to come to a comprimise, and the best comprimise i think would be to get a different ring.. Good luck!
Post # 5
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
Can your rhodium ip the ring an make it white gold?
Post # 6
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
Um hello! Rhodium dip?! Lol. Take it to the jeweler and see if it’s doable. I am sure it is. You’ll preserve the originality of the heirloom and still make it your own 😉 good luck!
Post # 7
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
I would suggest having it rhodium plated. The only thing is, you will have to have it redone more often than someone with a white gold ring. The reason is, the yellow gold will REALLY show when the rhodium starts to wear off. Some jewelers will not rhodium plate yellow gold, because of the reason I mentioned, and because it is considered somewhat dishonest in the jewelry industry.
I am a little confused. Did he say the ring would need the stones reset? What does he mean by that? If the stones need to be reset, why is he so against having them reset into another setting.
Another option… If the ring setting is fairly small, you could do a stacking thing, where you get some white gold rings to go with it.
Post # 8
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
I agree… just dip it! That way you will have the color you want without changing the heirloom peice too much.
Post # 9
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
+1 for dipping it. I think that’s all white gold is anyway.
Post # 10
Member
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
Yup, dip it… dip it goooooddd
Sorry, couldn’t help myself. lol
Post # 11
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
Squeeks: If dipping isn’t an option, what about recreating the setting in white gold, reset the stones in that and then if there’s enough yellow gold, melt it down to create your fiance’s wedding band?
Post # 12
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
Squeeks: So the fact that he and his family are offering you a treasured family heirloom with great sentimental value mean nothing? The priority here is your style preference?
Either accept it and treasure it or refuse it outright.
Post # 13
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
agreed with the dipping – it’s a compromise?
Post # 14
Member
5 posts
Newbee
Loribeth: I haven’t seen the ring yet. So I am not even sure how it looks other than supposedly having $4000 worth of diamonds and being yellow gold. I would love any ring as long as it isnt yellow gold! He just told me some diamonds need to be reset. It was his grandmothers so it is at least 50-60 years old. I am not sure on specifics of the resetting or design of the ring. I found out about completely on accident. I was thrilled to find out about it until I found out about the yellow gold. And now it has been part of a very heated argument between us. He doesnt want to change the setting because he wants to preserve it as a family heirloom without changing it. There is also a money factor as well I think. I am going to see if rhodium platting is a compromise we can make. It seems like the best option to me. I didnt even think about it until it was mentioned here.
Post # 15
Hostess
11693 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Squeeks: my friend had her Grandmother’s ring dipped for the same reason, she loved the ring and wanted it as her e-ring but hated the yellow gold.
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