(Closed) Uh oh: B listing people who got STD’s?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Oops.  I really don’t know – maybe you just have to pray that a bunch of them will have conflicts.  And there goes your whole actual B list.  There is not any good way to tell someone that they’re really not invited – especially if you said "formal invitation to follow" on your Save-The-Date Cards.  You might just have to suck it up and go with nine per table, and hope folks feel friendly.

You have convinced me though that I need to call our venue about the same issue – we have been to banquets there before, and argue periodically about whether there were 8 or 10 per table.  Luckily we have enough room either way, but I’m going to need to know how many tables there will be…

Post # 4
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

do you think all of your A list will reply that they’ll come?

 

i would just invite everyone who got an STD.  chances are, enough will not be able to make it that your table woes won’t be an issue. 

Post # 5
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2007

I think it would be absolutely awful to not invite someone who got a STD to begin with.  If you must must do so, I think you should personally call and explain the situation.

That said, you never know who will be able to come to the wedding–even if you’ve taken an audit and tried to guess who won’t be coming.

Honestly, worse case, if there are a bit more than 200 people that come, you’ll have a few tables here and there that have 9 or 10 people even.  Your guests will probably be happier that they can attend your wedding and be slightly cramped…than not being invited at all.

Post # 6
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

you have to invite them if you sent them an STD! its as good as an invite. I’ve heard 25% of invitees won’t come. are you getting married in ‘wedding season’ (summer)? Is it a long weekend? then even less will come. Forget about your B-list.

Post # 8
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think you should invite them all and just be ready to be flexible.  Not everyone will be able to come.

But I understand the stretch – I’m definitely counting on the 20% not showing and sometimes it gives me nightmares.  And then I tell myself – well we’ll just turn it in to heavy h’oudeuvres and not assign seating.  It’ll turn out OK.  (please don’t let that happen)

Post # 9
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

If you physically have the room, anyone who was sent a STD needs to be A-list. It is very rude to send a STD then not invite them (as you might not if they are B-list, and all your A list comes)

Squishing people is better than being rude. Odds are, you’ll be able to invite everyone, but I wouldn’t take that chance.

Post # 10
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Sweeney2Be regarding another post you had on wedding chair covers I am also in MN and would LOVE to know who you are using.  Please feel free to email me at [email protected].

 

Thanks, I am looking at places in MN this weekend!

Post # 11
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Ignore my last message, I just saw your message to me.  Thank you so much.

I would squish people in, especially if they already received STD’s, remember that only about 80% of those invited come.  Good luck! 

 

Post # 12
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

You literally cannot send someone an STD and then not invite them.  They could have already made travel plans, reservations, etc.  I would much prefer 8 people to a table.  Unfortunately, our site can only hold 15 tables, 10 at each, and we have invited 156 people.  It is supposed to be about 20% can’t come.  If you think about it, most guests only sit at the table for the 30-45 minutes it takes to eat.  don’t worry about it.  The tables are roomy enough for 10 people.

Post # 13
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Look on the bright side, if they’re squashed in at the tables they’re more likely to get up and mingle/dance! 

Post # 14
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I also agree it’s horrible to send someone an STD card and not an actual invite.  Everyone who recieved a STD card should be put on the "A" list.  Just as I am praying I’ll get more "declines" than the standard.  It’s better to send an invite since you’ll never know.  And if worse comes to worse, you can put 9-10 people at a few tables.  No one will really care or notice (especially if you sit people who are friends or relatives together).

Post # 15
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

Okay, I just took a step back and reread the post title again…

"B Listing those who got STD’s"

Hahahahaha. Sometimes I just have to forget about wedding abbreviations for a minute.

 

Post # 16
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

It’s against the rules of etiquette to send someone an STD and not send an invitation… you don’t know who has made the plan to travel based upon that and your sending an STD is an implication you will be sending an invite. Remember that aprx 15-25% of the people you invite won’t be able to make it or just can’t make it…

FYI- I was just at a wedding over the weekend and we had 10 to a table and trust me it wasn’t that bad. I had plenty of room to eat and it gave us (FH and I) more people to chat with!

 As it stands right now, just send them the invites and worry about seating later- it’s too early right now to worry if people are going to be crammed!

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