(Closed) Uh-Oh just got my first telling off… Vent

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I’m sorry that turned out that way!

My husband and I won’t be able to attend his sister’s wedding because it was an international destination wedding and too darn far/expensive. We secretly feel sad that they took only their own feelings into consideration (which is fair) because many family members will be unable to attend BUT we didn’t breathe a word about it to them. We have just been as supportive as possible.

They don’t seem to broken up about the fact that many aren’t going. They don’t seem to be using it as a “test” of who really cares about them, so I guess they just REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get married at that particular resort.

Post # 4
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Miss Mitzie: “our wedding is about US, not you” Sing it!

Post # 5
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

im having a dest wedding also…. when my grandma bitches i just say wellll then do YOU want to pay for a wedding for 120 +people in new york half the people i wouldnt even care about being there? i dont either so get over it gram sorry and if you cant make it fantastic save me money. Sorry but i feel some people think about themselves in this case that the bride and groom are being selfish then dont go its an invite not a requirement people sooo annnoying! My mom and dad will be there everyone else if they come fantastic if they dont thats ok too!! Does anyone else agree w me or am i just a b i t c h ?

Post # 7
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We would’ve loved a destination wedding, but too many of the people we want to celebrate won’t be able to come. Sigh… at the end of the day, you have to make the decision that works for yourselves.

Post # 8
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh well! You cant please everyone. Thats one of the reasons we are having a DW! We already knew that everyone will not be able to go and we totally understand that. We wanted to have a small intimate wedding and that just woulnd’t be possible here in TX.

I have talked to several people (bees and others) that had Destination Wedding and they dont regret any part of it.

Post # 9
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

you sound like me. We too had a big wedding planned. and half the people i had to invite i dont even know or talk to. I HATE HATE H.A.T.E being the center of attention and after starting to plan this wedding i said noooooo way. so we cancelled our big wedding.

 

Now we are going to the Outer Banks for a family vacation to get married. its just our immediate families ( which mine is huge!! i have 6 sibilings) and my close friends. 30 ppl. I was afraid of our how our families were going to react. mainly Fiance mom cause they are somewhat religious.  but she was completly fine. had some bumps in the road picking wedding houses down there. but so far so good.

Its your day. not theirs. so do what you want. Fiance and I agreed we were going to do what WE wanted to do, not what everyone else wanted. Do what makes you happy. If they really wanted to be there, they will find away. and im sorry, things just arent that ” traditional” anymore.

 

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that your day is everything you want it to be  =)

 

Post # 10
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It sounds like I may also have to do a Destination Wedding – and oddly, Couples was the company I was considering.  And weirdly, it’s because of my family.  My mom has been repeating that she’ll pay for our whole wedding and saying it’s silly for us to bother getting married in the same sentence – I don’t trust her to NOT ruin my wedding day for me. 

Post # 11
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Tell them if it’s SO important to them that they can shell out the thousands of dollars for the wedding they want you to have.  If they balk, to bad. 😀

Post # 12
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

I love how certain people feel so entitled to have a say in YOUR wedding… Silly… 

Big wedding, little wedding, destination wedding, backyard bbq… WHO CARES! When it’s all said and done, you’re going to be just as married no matter what kind of wedding you have, so why not make it what YOU GUYS want? Even if people are willing to shell out the thousands for a big wedding for you, if it’s not what you guys want, you’re the ones who are going to live with that regret… and NO ONE should be entitled to take that dream from you.

Keep your head up, sweetie! 

Post # 13
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Yeah, destination weddings are definitely a sore spot for some people. When my fiance and I decided that is what we were going to do, we kept the guest list tiny, and will be paying for everything except airfare for our guests (parents and siblings only). We didn’t register anywhere, so noone is obligated to shell out extra for a gift either. Everyone has been supportive so far, which is nice.

We do plan to have a reception at home sometime after we get married and invite all the extended family and friends we would have invited if our wedding was close by. I have accepted that a lot of people won’t travel for what’s essentially just a party. It’s all about the trade-offs you are willing to make.

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Lol, don’t you love families?  Sometimes you just have to let it go — not worth your aggravation.  Some people are just miserable ****’s that don’t know how to just say “congrats” and keep their opinions to themselves (my mom is one of those!). 

Best of luck and try not to let it get to you!

 

Post # 15
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh my gosh!  I totally understand how you feel! 

We’re having a destination/elopement too, and I’ll tell you, my mom was NOT happy about it.  We even offered to pay for her and dad to go, but she turned us down because my niece and nephew (her grandkids) couldn’t be there. Well, too bad so sad, mom. You just saved us a butt-load of money paying your way down there and for your hotel… I’m sorry, you made your choice. I think she regrets it now, but we’re not offering again.

The funny thing is my niece and nephew completely understand. My niece who is 12 said she wouldn’t want anyone telling her where she had to get married and that what was most important to her was that I was happy. My nephew, who is 9, said he didn’t care as long as we had a party afterwards so he could get the new suit he wants from Burlington Coat Factory.

I think there are some times when you have to give in and not be “it’s all about me.” But in this situation, a wedding, the ceremony, it’s for the couple getting married. It’s not a show for the guests invited. So if they love you and want to celebrate your marriage, if they can’t go, they can celebrate with you at a party afterwards.

And yes, I do think whoever asked if she was being a b i t c h is being one: Babe In Total Control of Herself!!!  That’s NOT a bad thing!

Post # 16
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

originally i was going to have a traditional jersey wedding… when everyone found out we were getting married every single person expected to be invited .. finding a venue that was affordable was impossible.. and if they were cheap it just looked trashy and tacky.. i was just not a happy jersey bride. Then for my fiances birthday our parents came up with the idea of having a destination wedding. i went through the roof of happiness!! so i dropped the whole jersey wedding idea and my guest list went from 180+ to maybe a good 45 people.

 

see i get that it can be expensive but people fail to realize that they are getting a vacation out of it. its fun spontanious and you only live once so you should never be unhappy about how your having YOUR wedding to please other people.

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