(Closed) Uh oh, wedding date interference?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@littlewhitedots: If it was my graduation night, I wouldn’t miss it. It sounds like its a close relative but not a sibling or parent so if I were in that situation, I would choose my graduation over the wedding. If I were the bride, I call up the family member and straight up ask what she is planning to do and see what kind of options they have about changing the date. 

Post # 4
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is it a high school or college graduation? Looking back, I would have gladly missed my college graduation in order to attend a close friend or family member’s wedding. I graduated from a really large state university, and the graduation ceremony was very impersonal – we didn’t walk across the stage or get our names read or anything. So it really would not have bothered me to skip it.

But, if it’s a high school graduation, or a higher-level degree graduation where you get more recognition, it would be more of a tough decision.

As far as changing my wedding date because of a family member’s graduation date…no, I probably would not do that if I had already put down deposits. But I would definitely have made sure that all of the most important people (mom, dad, siblings, etc.) could make it before I started putting down deposits for a particular date.

Is there anyway your friend can talk to the vendors about moving to another date without losing her deposits?

Post # 5
Member
2422 posts
Buzzing bee

Which graduation is it? I did not attend my college graduation and have no regrets about it. I graduated in December but my school only does May ceremonies. I had a job across the country by the time May came around and didn’t want to spend the money on airfare. 

Post # 6
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

What is she graduating from? I know some people didn’t walk in college. I would not skip my  graduation for a wedding. Why can’t they change dates without losing deposits? Have they checked if the vendor is available on an alternate date? I would only lose deposits if I cancelled entirely.

Post # 7
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If it was me getting married, I would change the date. She probably won’t lose her desposits with vendors if she just changes the date and doesn’t drop them entirely. Especially since she’s getting married in 2012, I’m sure a lot of 2012 dates are still open.

Post # 8
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Just because you’ve put a deposit down, doesn’t mean you will necessarily lose it if you change the date.  Your friend should talk to the vendors and see what her options are. Most likely, the vendors will be able to rebook that day and might not have a problem refunding the deposit.

If she doesn’t ask if she can get her deposit back, the answer is automatically no. If she does ask, she might get a yes.

 

Post # 9
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i wouldn’t miss my graduation. i know college graduations can be pretty impersonal, but they’re still so special. it’s not something you get to do very often.

she probably won’t lose her deposits anyway if she books another date with her vendors.

Post # 11
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah, theres no way I would skip my High School graduation for a wedding. I think your friend needs to find out definitively if she can get her deposits back/move the date.

Post # 12
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with skipping the college graduation ( I did) but I at the time I never would have missed my high school one.  I dont think the bride should change her wedding date and lose the deposits. 

Post # 13
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i skipped my college graduation to go to a friends wedding. but, she didnt ask me to do that or even bring it up.  for all i know she still doesn’t know that was my graduation night.

 

Post # 13
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would not miss my graduation, and if I were the bride, considering the wedding is so far away, I would try to change the date with the vendors.  I agree with the other posters – I would not have lost any deposits if I had switched to another date they have open. 

The graduation is fixed, set by the school.  But the wedding is so far in the future that it can be changed if the bride wants this person and her family in attendance.  I wouldn’t want to make any family members choose.

Post # 13
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i skipped my college graduation to go to a friends wedding. but, she didnt ask me to do that or even bring it up.  for all i know she still doesn’t know that was my graduation night.

 

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