(Closed) Uh oh….which of the below is the more delicate way to ask for cash?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Which one?
    Option A: The note : (12 votes)
    11 %
    Option B: Say nothing, let word of mouth work its magic : (97 votes)
    87 %
    Option C: I'll tell you below : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 17
    9951 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @Buttercupmcgee:  Lol you are welcome.

    Indeed I have two great current issue of Emily Post books in my collection… that I use in my own life from time to time, and haul out here for the “precise” answer for Wedding Bee Questions (usually I know a lot of this stuff, as I needed a lot of Etiquette / Protocol stuff in my career).  But it is nice to have Emily (now Peggy) close by to consult with.

    On the otherhand… the resident guru on all things Etiquette is most definitely better at this than I.

    No one can close to the knowledge that aspasia475 has or the artful turn of a phrase they use to deliver the info here on WBee.

    A true joy to behold !!


    Post # 18
    3682 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Make a small registry at Bed Bath and Beyond. Everything there can be returned for cash. You will have people who will insist on getting a physical gift – this way you at least have a better way of controlling the returns. If the registry is small, most people will take the hint and give you cash.

    Post # 19
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Buttercupmcgee:  Do NOT, under any circumstances include anything in your invites.  It’s quite rude.  You have to keep in mind that gifts are just that… Gifts!  And while it’s customary to bring a gift for the bride and groom, it should not be an expectation on your part.

    Here’s my advice – make a small registry with a variety of items – at a variety of prices – for those guests who don’t want to (or can’t feasibly afford to) give cash as a gift.  A small registry will fill up quickly implying to guests that cash is preferred.  Additionally, I would tell your parents to share with those WHO ASK that you could really use cash.  But don’t tell them to simply “spread the word.” 

    Fortunately cash is a customary wedding gift.  So I would bank on most guests giving you money.  So don’t risk offending anyone by specifically asking.

    Post # 20
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I voted for option C. How about instead of depending on others for help, you guys trim stuff from the wedding budget? That way you can have a nice downpayment if it’s important to you. I don’t think it’s right to demand gifts or money from guest. If you don’t need things don’t register. My Fi and I don’t need things and so we aren’t registering.

    Post # 21
    3051 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    @TwoCityBride:  I don’t think she’s demanding anything. Just wanting an alternative if someone WANTS to give a gift.

    Post # 22
    4856 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I know this is taboo some places, so if this is not in line with your local etiquette, please disregard.

    Here people put “presentation preffered” or a small picture of an envelope on the invitation. That being said, giving money as a wedding gift is the norm here. 

    Failing that, I agree with other posters suggestion of word of mouth. 

    Post # 24
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Buttercupmcgee:  My Fiance and I are going through this now. We have a home already, and we need just a few things as far as household items. So we are only going to put a few items we need on a store registry, and once those are all bought out, we’re hoping folks will just ask us what they can give, or assume to just give $$.

    That might be one of the more tactful ways, as this seems to be a touchy subject…

    Post # 25
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Buttercupmcgee:  We put this on our website:

    The important thing for us
    Is that you share our special day
    Coming to our wedding
    Would help us on our way
    But you’ve asked us if we’d like some gifts
    And to be honest we’ve got it all
    The kitchen’s full of useful stuff
    And now we’re filling up the hall
    But what we’d really like
    And it would be a lot of fun
    Is a week or two relaxing
    And soaking up some sun
    So if you’d really like to help us
    Then we know a place that’s cracking
    Just have a look at our honeymoon list
    And really Send Us Packing

    Post # 26
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013




    These are two things you could register for, and include a notice that this is where you are registered with your invites. People give cash, and it’s stored in a Paypal account or similar for you to use as you please. This is a nicer way of basically saying CASH ONLY PLEASE.

    Post # 27
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Option C: Create a HoneyFund or something similar (I think there are ones for ‘housefunds”.  You can assign out items/events/dinners/etc with a cash value. We did this and put it toward our honeymoon; but the gifts all come in as cash, via check or paypal, and you really can use the money however you wish. 

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