Post # 17
@Buttercupmcgee: Lol you are welcome.
Indeed I have two great current issue of Emily Post books in my collection… that I use in my own life from time to time, and haul out here for the “precise” answer for Wedding Bee Questions (usually I know a lot of this stuff, as I needed a lot of Etiquette / Protocol stuff in my career). But it is nice to have Emily (now Peggy) close by to consult with.
On the otherhand… the resident guru on all things Etiquette is most definitely better at this than I.
No one can close to the knowledge that aspasia475 has or the artful turn of a phrase they use to deliver the info here on WBee.
A true joy to behold !!
Post # 18
Make a small registry at Bed Bath and Beyond. Everything there can be returned for cash. You will have people who will insist on getting a physical gift – this way you at least have a better way of controlling the returns. If the registry is small, most people will take the hint and give you cash.
Post # 19
@Buttercupmcgee: Do NOT, under any circumstances include anything in your invites. It’s quite rude. You have to keep in mind that gifts are just that… Gifts! And while it’s customary to bring a gift for the bride and groom, it should not be an expectation on your part.
Here’s my advice – make a small registry with a variety of items – at a variety of prices – for those guests who don’t want to (or can’t feasibly afford to) give cash as a gift. A small registry will fill up quickly implying to guests that cash is preferred. Additionally, I would tell your parents to share with those WHO ASK that you could really use cash. But don’t tell them to simply “spread the word.”
Fortunately cash is a customary wedding gift. So I would bank on most guests giving you money. So don’t risk offending anyone by specifically asking.
Post # 20
I voted for option C. How about instead of depending on others for help, you guys trim stuff from the wedding budget? That way you can have a nice downpayment if it’s important to you. I don’t think it’s right to demand gifts or money from guest. If you don’t need things don’t register. My Fi and I don’t need things and so we aren’t registering.
Post # 21
@TwoCityBride: I don’t think she’s demanding anything. Just wanting an alternative if someone WANTS to give a gift.
Post # 22
I know this is taboo some places, so if this is not in line with your local etiquette, please disregard.
Here people put “presentation preffered” or a small picture of an envelope on the invitation. That being said, giving money as a wedding gift is the norm here.
Failing that, I agree with other posters suggestion of word of mouth.
Post # 23
@TwoCityBride: Yeah I’m not demanding gifts. We’ve gotten a few inquiries about where we are registered, so I’m wondering how to handle it. Also, FYI, I’m getting married in NYC for 5k, which is more or less unheard of. Our ceremony is costing $25 for a park permit. So the budget has in fact been trimmed. Not to mention suctioned, siphened, condensed, compressed, and kissed with the seal of a shoestring.
Post # 24
@Buttercupmcgee: My Fiance and I are going through this now. We have a home already, and we need just a few things as far as household items. So we are only going to put a few items we need on a store registry, and once those are all bought out, we’re hoping folks will just ask us what they can give, or assume to just give $$.
That might be one of the more tactful ways, as this seems to be a touchy subject…
Post # 25
@Buttercupmcgee: We put this on our website:
The important thing for us
Is that you share our special day
Coming to our wedding
Would help us on our way
But you’ve asked us if we’d like some gifts
And to be honest we’ve got it all
The kitchen’s full of useful stuff
And now we’re filling up the hall
But what we’d really like
And it would be a lot of fun
Is a week or two relaxing
And soaking up some sun
So if you’d really like to help us
Then we know a place that’s cracking
Just have a look at our honeymoon list
And really Send Us Packing
Post # 26
These are two things you could register for, and include a notice that this is where you are registered with your invites. People give cash, and it’s stored in a Paypal account or similar for you to use as you please. This is a nicer way of basically saying CASH ONLY PLEASE.
Post # 27
Option C: Create a HoneyFund or something similar (I think there are ones for ‘housefunds”. You can assign out items/events/dinners/etc with a cash value. We did this and put it toward our honeymoon; but the gifts all come in as cash, via check or paypal, and you really can use the money however you wish.