(Closed) Uh… where are all my RSVPs?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

unfortunately people procrastinate! I would wait a day or two after the RSVP Date before calling anyone. You cant get too upset over that of which you cant control.

Post # 4
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

Yah..I feel you.  I invited 240 and we have 65 back. I sent them 3 months prior and now it’s 2 months prior. I was pretty early but only b/c I was super excited. I know a lot are coming for sure but didn’t rsvp!!!

Post # 5
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Call them… We wrangled and wrangled and cajoled, and we still had 1 person show up who never responded or RSVP’d… Ah Tahoe!

Post # 6
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I know that we had two big flows of RSVPs – right after we sent out our invitations, then right around the due date (2 days before the due date to 2 days after the due date)…

I agree with the previous poster that you should wait until a few days after the date, then begin calling (“Hi! I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I’m afraid that your RSVP may have gotten lost in the mail! We need to give our caterer some final numbers this week and I realized that we haven’t heard anything from you!”)

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

You always have to end up calling ppl, its unfortunate but it happens… lol

Post # 8
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

To echo what others have said – you will have to call.  And people will procrastinate.  Can your mom call?  I told my mom when we started the planning that I wanted her to call all the people who don’t RSVP by the due date, and we planned ours extra early (3 wks before wedding) so she would have time to do it and still get that stuff ordered.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would send out a reminder email or text. I just did that- we are in the same predicament, only received about 20% of rsvps and there’s only about 6 days to due date.

Post # 10
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Hell I am still geting one back every now and then and responses were requested by June 30th!

Post # 11
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Anyone who is not apart of the planning process just does not understand that we pannick when things are not turning out quite as we thought. Most people have a tendency to not RSVP for anything. I think you should stay calm and start making phone calls a couple of days after your RSVP date. We made our RSVP date like the first week in October even though we are not getting married until the 31st because we planned for the need of many phone calls. Remember this is one of the most exciting times in our lives, try to stay calm (hard to do I know but important) stress takes to much of the excitement away.

Post # 12
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

First off, BREATHE!!

There are many that will not RSVP until later. Because a week or so before my deadline I had 120 + guests that didn’t respond yet, I decided to send them a friendly reminder email about the upcoming deadline. This helped out a lot. Many of the responses I received that day or in the upcoming days. If and when the deadline arrives and you have outstanding responses, spread the load to family members and start calling people. I contacted my family members to help talk to the outstanding responses. Not only did I get responses but the work wasn’t just on me.

Just don’t get too upset. My deadline was a week ago and I still have 4 outstanding.

You will get there! Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I was really surprised at the lack of responses we got too.  It’s really surprising.  Anyway, in our case, we assumed a lot of people were not coming, but are following up with the ones on the fence.

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Most people do not like to RSVP to anything. Even if they know for sure they’re going, it’s like that final commiting that freaks them out. Me – once I receive a wedding invitation in the mail it’s like a ticking time bomb. I literally fill it out and run it out to the mail that same minute because I know how stressful it is for people planning weddings.

As long as you gave yourself enough time between the RSVP date and your wedding date, don’t worry about it. A few days after your RSVP date just send out emails or call people who haven’t responded. You can always start making the boxes now if you have to or call the supply company and give them an estimate without signing anything.

Post # 15
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

Like the others, I was totally shocked to see how many people did not respond to our RSVP request.  We had a lot of responses that came in right at the deadline and within a couple of days after.  Also, we had people who simply never sent the cards back–we had to call a few people to get their answers.  I don’t know why people do this, but at least know that you’re not the only bride who has had to deal with this!

Post # 16
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@hcritton – I’m in the same boat as you with this, my deadline just passed and I’m waiting for a lot of RSVPs.  I wanted to order my M&Ms early so I had to estimate.  Can you go through your list and get a ball park number based on who you know will come?  For me, I estimated 200 and got enough M&Ms for that many people.  If less show up, they’ll get more in each box.  This made sense b/c I was ordering the M&Ms in 5-10lb bags and so 20 people weren’t going to make a big difference in the number of bags I need.  By The Way, having 30lbs of M&Ms in the house is SO tempting, I had to go out and buy a bag of regular ones so that I wouldn’t touch the super expensive custom ones!!

Oh and I used the promotion code percent6 and got 10% off!

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