(Closed) Uh….Help?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Invite her to pinterest, at least it will give her ideas and maybe get her more interested in looking at wedding related stuff? Or you can start mentioning everything that you have planned, which might make her realise how much she has to do.

It sounds like she is a very laid back person when it comes to her wedding – which may not be a bad thing for her, but obviously makes it difficult for you (and most likely everyone else involved). If nothing else works you should just be straight with her and tell her up front that your worried she hasn’t planned anything, and that you need advance notice because of financial reasons etc.

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You don’t have to persuade her to do anything. It’s her wedding. If it’s a disaster it’s on her. I would get off her back and let her do things her way even if that means it’s slow or nonexistent.

Post # 6
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it were my sister I would print off a checklist. I can say that because I know my sister and how she would react. You will have to decide how that would go over with your sister.

Post # 9
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hiroshymatetrastar:  Ask her if there is anything you can help with (that you can fit on your already full plate) or if she needs help sorting things out. You could be a great resource seeing as you are also planning a wedding. 

I wouldn’t do any more than that, though. It’s her wedding, don’t you stress about it!

Post # 10
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You sound like you’re an organized, planning type.  It sounds like your sister is NOT.  Ultimately, it is her deal and you need to let her take the reigns.  I am a planning type, too, and it can drive some of my friends NUTS.  Take a deep breath, focus on your wedding, and be there for your sister if she asks for your help.  It is not your job to be her personal wedding planner. 

Post # 11
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hiroshymatetrastar:  You are obviously trying your best to help her, but if she isn’t responsive then there is not much more you can do. I don’t know her, but I know that sometimes people like to dig their heels in when they feel that people are ‘pestering’ them – even though you are just trying to help she may have wedding-hormones (as I like to call it) so just sees it that way. I would suggest putting whatever money you can aside, so that when she does make a decision you have it ready – but short of strangling her I don’t see what else you can really do.

Post # 13
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Besides for the shoes that have to do with you since you have to buy them, I would not do anything. If you casually mention things that you’re doing in her presence she might pick up on it, but aside from that, I don’t think you should let her stress becomes yours. If certain things fall apart it’s on her lack of planning. 

Post # 15
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hiroshymatetrastar:  Yeah, it sucks that it’s affecting tasks you need to complete. But, if you can’t complete a task because she didn’t give you enough time, you said your piece and it’s on her now. Order of BMs can actually be decided at the last minute, and I have been in weddings where this is the case and everything turned out A-OK. It definitely doesn’t need to be done months in advance, think about brides who have people out of town and are arranging by height, you can’t do it until maybe the rehearsal!

That being said, you are very sweet to want to help, but ask what you can do and leave it at that. She’ll have the wedding she planned and set aside time for. 

Post # 16
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Sometimes people work best under pressure. Just let her operate with what works for her.

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