(Closed) uhhh… so the back door…

posted 10 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Back door?

    yes

    no

    other

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t plan on EVER trying it.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

    I have never done this and probably never will but if I learned one thing from a gay roommate: use an enema. If the poo part freaks you out I guess.

    Post # 34
    Member
    944 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    No, no and NO.  Never tried it and won’t try it and the Fiance isn’t interested either.  I’m just freaked out by the thought but I have read that some people (men and women) do enjoy it—to each there own I say! 

    I must say, when I read the topic title I just laughed out loud and appreciate the laugh on a day I needed it.  I think it’s good that girls are being honest and maybe someone who is interested will gain some good, uh, tips(?) so it goes a little better for their first time if they choose to try.

    Post # 35
    Member
    7774 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Can I have a hell no option?

    Post # 36
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee

    I have to admit I dont mind a little playing back there, but my ex would constantly ask for it and it just didnt do it for me.  But I would try to pretend to enjoy it for him.  Even though he always asked he rarely got it, but he liked to say (when I asked him why he liked it) that it was hotter, tighter and more degrading to women…. one of the millions of reasons he is now my ex.  

    If I NEVER had to do it again, that would be fine with me!!!!  I do know plenty of Ladies that like in though!

    Post # 37
    Member
    825 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    The answer is lube, lube, and more lube! It’s also different in that something tiny like a finger can feel huge like an entire arm! I’ve found that small toys are more enjoyable than full-on, all-the-way-in penile penetration. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Goodness…we eventually get around to talking about EVERYTHING on this board, don’t we?!

    I’ve had a couple (and I really do mean 2 or 3) nice experiences in this … err … arena that have involved good hygiene, lots of communication, slow, gentle progress … and yes, lube. I keep telling Fiance that I can be into it, I just have to be in the right mood. It’s been 5 years however, and the ‘right mood’ hasn’t hit yet.

    If it were a particular fantasy of his, I’d get into it (which explains the past experience) but apparently it’s not appealing enough for me to pursue with a partner who doesn’t care about it one way or another.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    no appeal for him or me

    Post # 40
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    So… Too Much Information alert! lol  when I was more into the BDSM lifestyle than I am now, I dated a guy who was really into this. I was afraid due to bad past experience, but  with lots of lube and patience we made it work, and it wasn’t so bad. After a while I didn’t need lube anymore and would have some really great orgasms that way. 

    Now, with Fiance, he’s a lot less experienced with it. And by the time I’d met him, I hadn’t been with above ex for at least a year and was out of practice, and again, it was hurting. It’s now been almost two years since going that route. I have to confess, that this thread makes me miss it a little.

    Anyway, I guess what I want to say, for those who are curious, if you take the right time and practice, it can be a nice bit of variety. Keep an open mind.

    Post # 41
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Meh – I can take it or leave it TBH, I’ve had ex’s who was really into it, so with plenty of lube and going gentle he got his kicks and I enjoyed it a bit, we would then swap round and I’d get my fun and he’d do something he wasn’t fussed on!

    Post # 42
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Um, no. I’ve tried it with my ex, who absolutely loved it (perhaps a bit too much) and I did it for him. I was very angry the first time he did it because he didn’t ask my permission and just held me down and went to town!! Yell

    It was very painful, and since he did it in such a disrespectful way (especially when I told him no, no, no! @sshole!) I have no tolerance for it and it is definitely not at all a turn on.

    My fiance is wonderful and wants nothing to do with that type of thing, and for this I thanked him unceasingly, as I explained the situation about what happened to me. He and I are creative enough, so we don’t need to include… the back door.

     

    Post # 43
    Member
    990 posts
    Busy bee

    I was considering really letting my Fiance give it a try (he’s dying to) but I am so scared! I have a small pain tolerance lol. I am not opposed to trying it, but I am positive it wont be a regular thing for me.

    Post # 44
    Member
    555 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted yes.  I’d only done it a couple of times before meeting my fiance and was totally opposed to ever doing it again because it was never the least bit enjoyable.  Well….I’ve since learned that it really comes down to preparation and a partner who is patient.  Lubricant is ESSENTIAL and there is a lot of info online about how to do it successfully but basically fingers, lube and deep breaths to relax are key.  If you are tense going into it (which you’ll probably be anxious since it’s your first time anyway…) it will be a little harder but by no means impossible.  I think some of it comes to trust as well.  You have to trust that he’ll stop if you say.  Assurance that you’re in control and that if you say yes once that doesn’t mean it has to become a regular thing.  Also, it might be Too Much Information, but having a good amount of regular intercourse and being able to climax first really helps because your body is just naturally more relaxed.  It’s embarassing sometimes to talk about the nuts and bolts of things but this is your partner for life so I say why not try things.  If it’s not fun then you never have to do it again.  It may pique your interest or it may be a total turn off.  Personally I’m to the point where if we go more than a month without it I’ll suggest it.  😀

    Post # 45
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    No penetration but I like outside pressure. But.. no penetration. not ever. not for meeee

    Post # 46
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    My Fiance and I do occasionally. We tried it for the first time after lots of discussion and preparation on his 18th birthday. I don’t mind it, it’s not my favourite, but he enjoys it and thinks it’s really hot and since we don’t do it very often it’s a special treat for him ( :

     

     

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