Post # 1
We just got engaged and really wanted to get married this August (my parents passed when I was young and they were married in August so by sharing a wedding month it feels as if they are part of the ceremony even though they are no longer here). We haven’t told anyone yet, as it’s so close we want to be able to tell them we’re getting married and give them all the details too. The problem is that the venue we wanted, a municipal building, was booked up on every saturday and friday in August so we took a thursday afternoon instead.
It’s in the city that all my family and old friends are from so they won’t have to travel far or pay for a hotel room (lots of friends from home asked us to drive hours to somewhere totally gorgeous but remote for thier weddings). His family and a lot of our friends are all from where we live now, which is two hours away. We’re putting on a wedding bus between the venue and the ceremony and back again even though it’s only about a fifteen minute drive so no-one has to worry about city centre parking and the venue is also quite central and has loads of parking for everyone so hopefully as stress free as possible.
As a potential guest, what would you think of being invited to a Thursday wedding? We’re trying to make it as convenient as possible for everyone but I’m worried it still might be awkward for people to come. What do you all think?
Post # 2
You may lose some people who can’t take a day off. You may lose some people who’d want to take Friday off too.
it might end earlier or scale down earlier in the night as some folk might need an early night if they have to work Friday.
id still go!
so I guess you have to figure out how you feel over the potiential “no” rsvps and the chance it MAY be a slightly less boozy/earlier ending reception.
Does that help at all?!
Post # 3
I agree with UK-bee. I’d probably still go if I could take the time off but I’d most likely not take the Friday off as well so would end up leaving earlier than on a different day of the week.
Eta: I actually work at a school so wouldn’t need to book holiday at all but I imagine most of your guests don’t have that luxury
Post # 4
Agree with the above. Some may drop out due to having to use a holiday to attend your wedding, others may be reluctant to stay late or let their hair down as they know Friday looms!
Very close family should be there, I can’t imagine them nit using a holiday up to celebrate with you, it’s extended family and friends that may find it harder to commit to attending.
Post # 5
As long as they have decent time to book it off it should be fine. You may get some declines from people who cant take time off work but most close family and friends would make sure to get time off. Were having a weekday wedding and have a 100% yes rsvp rate but our wedding is small so its just close family and friends. I think a thursday wedding would work- I would take the thursday and friday off and have an extended weekend.
Post # 6
If it was a very close friend or family member I would go. For anyone else I probably wouldn’t. My Fiance is a self employed IT consultant so taking a day off work means a loss of income – a Thursday afternoon wedding would probably mean two days off since work with a hangover is a ‘no no’ and that would be quite a price to pay for a wedding of someone we aren’t very close to. Being a guest at a wedding is already expensive without losing income too.
My Fiance and I were both really keen on getting married at a lovely place we go on holiday to most years (in the UK, but not particularly easy to get to). It was available and considerably cheaper than venues closer to home and it is somewhere we really love. When we looked at the logistics of getting everyone there and finding accommodation etc it became pretty obvious that a lot of the people we really wanted to share our day with would not be able to attend and for those who did go it would be quite costly. We decided that for us the most important thing was being surrounded by the people we love so we’ve booked a venue that is much more convenient for guests.
I think you need to consider what’s most important to you – do you want a big wedding with lots of people there? Or something smaller with just those you are closest to? Are you hoping for a party atmosphere through the evening/into the night or something more subdued?
Is there a huge rush to get married this year? or could you wait until next year and get the venue on a Saturday and have it all?
Post # 7
I think I’d only do it for family or really close friends. I’d book the Friday off too and I’d need plenty of notice so that I could arrange the leave with work.
Post # 8
I’d be happy to go but I would book both days off or at least the thursday and friday morning (if I lived in the same area as the wedding) . I would need plenty of notice as in my work only one person can be be off at one time.
I think just be prepared as others have said that you may get a few ‘no’ rsvps due to it being in the week and most people work weekdays and they may not be able to get the time off and it could finish a tad earlier if people who live close by have decided to go to work the next day.
Post # 9
That’s all good advice, thank you! One reason we want to get everything booked before we tell people in two weeks is that it will give them six months notice to get time off work if they need to.
We are having quite a small wedding, max 120 people. We both come from very large families, my dad is one of 8 and his mum is one of 11 so between us we have 34 aunts and uncles and almost 70 cousins! Because of that we just have to put a blanket policy in place of not inviting any cousins to the day, just to the afters as it wouldn’t be fair to invite some and not others. So we should only have immediate family and close friends there. Because we’re a bit older and our parents were the youngest in thier families (I have cousins twenty years older than me!) almost all of our aunts and uncles are retired so they should hopefully all be able to make it.
Most of our friends work in creative industries or for themselves so I’m hopeful that they’ll be able to arrange time off as they have flexible schedules. There are a few who are doctors so that might be harder, but while I’d be very sad they didn’t make it to the wedding, they are very much going to be part of our married life together.
There is indeed a rush to get married, I’m 36 and we want to start a family as soon as possible 🙂 I’ve have an illness that wasn’t diagnosed properly so I actually wasn’t able to have kids until last year when it was finally treated properly. There was no rush when we thought we weren’t able to have kids, now I’ve been given the all clear we really don’t want to waste the opportunity.
It helps a lot, thanks 🙂 An Irish wedding usually goes on till 6am the next morning so if it has to end a bit early that’s fine, I’ll probably be in bed by 1am anyway! Also a lot of friends have kids under five so if they make it till midnight I’d be very impressed!
That’s good to know, a few of our friends are teachers and lecturers so they’ll be off anyway which will help I hope.
That’s a great RSVP rate and good to hear. We’re expecting a 10-15% decline rate just in case.
Post # 10
Well, people would be looking at taking a day off work, maybe two if they want a duvet day to recover from the hangover (or is that just me! lol) but I don’t see an issue with it. Generally if I have been invited to a wedding it is because I am close enough to the couple that I wouldn’t mind taking holiday and also, weekday weddings are cheaper so I would respect their choices. Last year I went to a wedding on a Monday. I didn’t drink because I was working the next day, but the company and the music was so fab it didn’t matter.
Post # 11
I’m irish, our wedding is a Thursday… we have been to weddings on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays… The people who want to go will go! Those who don’t are missing out on all the craic 😉
Post # 12
In in NZ but we seem to do things more like you English and Irish bees rather than like the American bees. My wedding is on a Thursday. It’s a significant date to us. I’m giving people plenty of notice though, so you should probably decide quickly and let everyone know. My wedding is next June but I’ve already started telling people.
Post # 13
It’s great to know I’m not the only one! I had a heart attack last night because we’re getting married on the 4th of August and in my head I thought “Galway races! Horse Show! no-ones going to come!” but it turn out those are on the two weeks before. Phew!
We have the ceremony venue and the solomiser booked so even if it’s just us and the witnesses we’re getting married 🙂 We’re telling everyone on the 18th once we have the reception booked and the ring is here so they can have about 6 months notice. Eep!
Post # 14
A monday! That’s really unusual but sounds like a great way to start a week.
Post # 15
Hi. I am having a Thursday wedding here in England. I say go for it.
I only have a 8 month engagement (because I’m 40 so can’t wait around) so it was the only day I could secure my dream venue. Everywhere else felt like a compromise or would have cost a lot lot more for a Saturday anyway. Saturdays often cost nearly twice as much- it’s ridiculous. I think people these days understand. I have been to lots of Friday weddings.
I’ve sent out Save the Dates but no invitations yet. So far I’ve had one couple decline. I am really sad as they are amongst the friends I most wanted to be there, and funnily enough they also had a Thursday wedding, but they both have very high flying careers and inescapable work commitments (not just ‘busy’ but booked to be travelling internationally or hosting 1000 person conferences). I expected some drop-out but that was really disappointing. However, I think most other people will come. My parents’ friends are all either retired or have a lot of annual leave/sway in their companies. If you know lots of freelancers/self-employed people, that also helps.
The Thursday wedding I attended myself was great fun and I enjoyed taking a long weekend. Initially I was slightly annoyed but it was such a great wedding, one of my favourites.
I would advise to try a half term/school holiday if you can, especially if your friends/cousins have kids.
But don’t be put off. The really fun loving people and the ones who want to support you will come.