Thank you girls! I guess I’ll have the shower in America when we have that wedding.
I was totally attacked by a woman in another post yesterday when I mentioned that we’re having a cash bar. She said I was “awful” and that if we weren’t paying for it, it shouldn’t even be offered. Weddings in America are very rarely at venues with their own bars, so the alcohol is usually bought and provided for by the bride and groom (or whoever’s paying) and served by hired bartenders.
Since our reception is at an upscale pub on a private beach, it’s not like I can say “Ok, we’re not paying for the booze, so just ignore the fully stocked bars that are on all three levels of the venue we’ve hired out.” Plus, as you say, most people have cash bars at weddings here.
Also, the whole inviting other people to the reception thing was new to me, but I love it! All my FI’s coworkers and less-close friends are coming at night as we can’t afford to feed them all during the wedding breakfast.
The “breakfast” is something else I was attacked for. Originally, we were going to have an early morning ceremony followed by a 3 hour breakfast buffet with a hired barista in the museum we’d rented. Well, our dream venue crapped out on us last week. The wedding is in 4 months and everything else for the day was booked and paid for, so finding somewhere nice to get married that was available was not easy! As a result, we’re we can’t have the breakfast reception at the venue because it’s now in a church. Our 35 minute church wedding is costing more than the whole affair at the museum would have been!
We originally planned to go to an amazing monastery’s restaurant for a more intimate wedding lunch with just the bridal party and close family after the breakfast reception. That’s still booked and has a deposit, and since our new ceremony venue is not a place we’re that happy about, we don’t want to lose the monastery as well. So, out of our 40 guests at our ceremony, only about 20 are going to the wedding lunch. We simply CANNOT afford to feed 40 people a 3 course meal.
I was told I was being awful again, etc. for this. Don’t do any of it if you can’t afford all of it, blah blah blah. However, most people I’ve spoken to in the UK said that they wouldn’t expect to go to the family lunch, and that they had been to weddings with similar plans.
So, UK girls, what’s your advice on this? Should I only just invite the people going to the breakfast to the ceremony? Thank you so so so much.
If it’s any help, here’s our timeline:
-10:30am Saturday morning ceremony at a Church in Newcastle
-1pm booking for a wedding lunch at the monastery in Newcastle
-5pm start for our evening reception at the beach pub, in a city about 15 miles away. We’re having a light snacks buffet, candy table, and cake. Plus the open bar.
-10pm end so we can actually have some energy for our wedding night!