(Closed) Ultimatum = Power

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

You can do it! stay true to your guns and try not to let this deadline rule your life until it passes. Just be happy. if you focus your energy into being happy and enjoying life the way it is then good things will come to you.

Best of luck and Stay strong

Post # 6
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have made the EXACT same one for myself as we are celebrating our seven year anniversary here in a week and a half. It’s freaky how I was reading your post as it could of been written by myself!

I have vowed to just life my life for the next year – If nothing happens by our 8 year anniversary, I am going to sit down with him and have a very very serious talk. It’s not that I don’t love him or trust in our relationship. But like you, after 8 years he should know – esp. since he more than financially stable and could afford a ring about 20 times over. We’ve had talks over the years about out future and my needs and his needs so besides my bad waiting days, I am hopeful that it’ll happen this year.

Hang on my friend!

Post # 9
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I feel you hunny, definately do. That’s why I also set a mental timeline of 1 year after our anniversary. I feel after so long with our men being financially stable, 8 years is plenty of time to be sure of something. Some women are willing to wait longer – Not me. 8 years is a very very very long time IMO. My SO and I share a house we bought, we travel – why can’t he commit to me in that way? The frusturating thing is, I hear from EVERYONE about how much he talks about me to others, about how in love he is with me and how much he loves me and that I’m the only girl for him. So it’s not that he’s NOT sure about us. It’s the whole “marriage” thing. He had a crappy upbringing and his family puts the DYS in dysfunctional. So I’ve waited patiently because I understand he has issues with the typical family model & what not. But we’ve worked through things together, we have a stable home life – I’m hoping he comes around. He told me to be patient almost a year ago, and he also told me he knows I am not going to wait around forever, so here’s hoping this year is the year!!! πŸ™‚

Post # 10
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@sleepingbeauty88:  I think you put into words how a lot of us here feel- powerless about our own lives.  I think you have inspired me to have a silent deadline as well!!  I miss feeling in control of my future.

Post # 11
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@sleepingbeauty88:  AMAZING!

I try and say this to my female clients who come in to see me complaining their SO wont propose….

In the end, you don’t really want to be with someone you have to FORCE or convince, or black mail into proposing to you, which realistically is what is happening when an ultimatum is given to a guy.

I think silent and personal deadlines are a great way for you to empower yourself.

I hope every “waiting” bee reads this, and can follow in your footsteps. Too many young girls are just sitting by “waiting” to be proposed to….. Become an active participant in your life… You’ve lived this long without being engaged… it really isn’t the be all and end all.

Anyways! KUDOS to you!

Hopefully you inspire many of the lovely bees on here!

Post # 12
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

way to go girl! i have a LOT of time left until my personal ultimatum deadline, but i can tell that knowing your power makes you enjoy every waiting day more. stand your ground and you’ll be fine.

The topic ‘Ultimatum = Power’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors