(Closed) Um…his brother’s girlfriend now wants a summer proposal

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Given that you don’t really care about sharing the spotlight, make sure that your Fiance coordinates with his brother on when he’s proposing just in case she cares! You don’t want to start off on the wrong foot together – especially if your weddings are going to be close. Let her know that you aren’t intending to make it a competition and that you’re just as excited to plan with her!

Post # 5
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t worry about her- worry about you and get starting on ring shopping!

Your guy will propose when he sees it time to.

Post # 6
Member
47 posts
Newbee

@jackndiane:

Hmmm, personally I would only wait a couple of weeks, if that.  Why should you have to postpone your engagement, especially when she got the idea because she heard your were doing it?  I don’t think she could get mad if you get engaged shortly after or before her.  If she wants a summer proposal too, she should know there’s a possibility that you both could get engaged at the same time.

Post # 7
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ewww, she’s such a brat!  She sounds very immature.

Post # 8
Member
47 posts
Newbee

@MrsLongcoatPeacoat:

I agree.

 

That’s why I say don’t postpone your engagement just because of her.  It sounds like she’ll find something to be upset about regardless.

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It came out of the blue? Or came out of the blue to you? Big difference. A friend of mine got engaged and we were all shocked! She was still in school, he had just graduated and didn’t have a job. Come to find out they had been talking about it for a full 6 months leading up the proposal.

Also, try not to think of it negatively! The day FH proposed my bestie got engaged too. Its been great sharing everything with her. Double the love!

Post # 10
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldn’t put your proposal off for a few months – a couple of weeks, sure! Does his brother’s girlfriend know you guys were planning on getting engaged in the summer?

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

If I were you I would make sure she/they know that you’re planning to be engaged soon so she doesn’t think that you’re “copying” or whatever… and other than that don’t worry about it. Let the boys figure it out. And congrats in advance!

Post # 14
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

maybe just tell your boyfriend to not share any more information about when hes going to propose to you and ring shopping so that it dosent promote brother for any ideas to use. or maybe he should talk to brother man to man that is this really what he wants bc maybe he just got caught up in his gf’s jealousy of your relationship and got sucked in.

Post # 16
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would actually say to share some info – if, for example, he decides to propose on a specific date, he should let his brother know that.  Otherwise, don’t share.

Re sharing engagement time, I actually created a post/poll about this a bit back here http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/sibling-engagement-timing-questions.  There is a small possibility that my bf and his brother could both propose this summer.  I am fairly certain that his brother’s gf wouldn’t care, and I don’t care, so for us, it’s not a problem.  But I think people misunderstood and thought I was asking advice for myself, when really I just wanted to understand why people get upset about the issue.  It’s very gracious of you to take a back step them though for months even, when your impending engagement may have prompted their engagement.  (I’m getting older so waiting months doesn’t seem reasonable, although I’d be willing to wait a few weeks or a month.)

Anyone else think it weird that she seems to be competing in the enagement?  Well, I told my brother that we were thinking of getting engaged and he told his gf and now she wants to get engaged this summer too.  I guess I can see how an engagement can prompt a talk about the direction a relationship is going, and this is all fourth-hand or so, but it still seems to a competition and not a personal decision.

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