(Closed) umm…because ur a total b*#@h!

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

“we both wanted to do a very simple elopement. but NOOOOO…his sister insisted we have a huge italian wedding and because we are nice people and want to make everyone happy. we agreed (after she threw a tantrum)”

Nope. Stopped reading after that. You can’t let people call the shots from the get-go and then cry when they cross boundaries. Sorry!

Post # 18
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

After everything that she pulled why are you even contemplating lettering her go to the courthouse? Just so she can be a witness and object? She sounds crazy for trying to run your wedding and ruin your relationship and you guys should have put your foot down awhile ago.

What’s done is done but you have to make the choice to change the future and by not allowing her to go to your elopement will change it for the better in the long run. I’m positive she will just ruin it so RUN to the courthouse with your man and marry him before the crazy lady finds out.

Post # 20
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

How does she even have the power to do any of this? How crazy.

Elope, if that’s still what you guys want to do–you’ve got a second chance to do it now!

Post # 21
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Go elope without her. Also, just be prepared and realistic how she’ll be in future life events like new house and babies. Be aware that she’s part of the marriage package too. She’s the avoidable, but still there part of your marriage that you’re going to have to deal with from time to time. Happy that your man is standing up for you and you’re being a strong couple in the face of family drama.

Post # 23
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Go get married and tell her nothing about it.

Who the hell cares if she is furious or hurt. She did it to herself.

Post # 24
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@tulipandtummy: That’s awful if that’s a thought even before getting married. I understand sibling rivalry and jealousy around life events in general. I’ve felt that way when recently when my SIL had their 3rd child. We’re now in a place where that’s what we want, so it was tough to see. I let those emotions out to my mom certainly not my SIL or brother. I was happy for them when they got married, had kids, and bought and moved from their homes. They were pretty much the same for us. I can’t imagine a SIL being malicious and negatively impacting her brother’s relationship. It leads to bad blood all around. Again, be prepared for it. It’s one of the tough parts about marriage.

Post # 25
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@tulipandtummy:

You can see her setting fire to your house? I asked earlier, but you didn’t clarify…do you know why she is like this? does she hate her brother?

Post # 26
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@KatyElle: My sentiments exactly.

Post # 28
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@tulipandtummy: My husband’s family is Italian and we still managed to have the small wedding we wanted, despite the constant pressure from his mother and relatives. It can be done. Just go into broken record mode whenever they start up again. Repeat after me: “No.”

Post # 29
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah I am with @KatyElle.  I’m sorry this is happening to you, I really am, but you had to have known this lady was batcrap crazy from the get go.  She is your fiance’s sister, so he has to know how controlling and difficult she is, so there really is no excuse.  You can’t expect someone you allow to steamroll you to not do so any time they want.  No wonder she is pitching a fit- you’ve given her everything she’s wanted the entire time so why wouldn’t she?  

Drop her butt like a hot rock and go see the JOP, but be prepared for the backlash and fallout.  You fostered it, now you have to deal with it.  

(By the by: is she already married or is she still single? Just curious.)

Post # 30
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t know why you allowed her to dictate so much about your wedding, but if you do elope (and it seems like that’s the easiest solution) I would absolutely NOT TELL HER! 

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