- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Back story: I am adopted by my dad, Fred. B is my biological father (I refer to him only as the sperm donor since that’s really all he’s had to do with my life) who I haven’t seen or heard from since I was two years old. I was adopted by my DAD when I was 5, and my life has been better because of this.
I have never really had any interest in meeting B later in my life, save for a quick criminal record search that I did for S’s and G’s when I worked at a police station… only to discover he lived in Florida and had a rap sheet a mile long.
I do, however, remember his family (mother, brother, sister), they were around at least marginally until I was in high school, though we never really saw them. About 6 months ago, my grandmother and my uncle sent me a facebook friend request. I wasn’t sure really how I felt about that since they really haven’t been involved in my life and I didn’t know if B was on facebook, and frankly, I didn’t really want him seeing anything about me. So I accepted the friend requests, but gave them limited visibility to my profile. We chat from time to time, comment on each others’ feeds, and I’m slowly starting to get to know them again.
Then last night… I received a private facebook message that said: “ummm hi, i’m ur little sister, B’s kid and i hope i get 2 meet u 1 day.”
I realize I’m probably over-analyzing/over-reacting to this, but given the circumstances, I’m giving myself permission to do so, so please don’t jump down my throat about this…
But… really?! THAT’S how you contact someone you don’t know at all to open up lines of communication?
My initial reaction was something along the lines of A) we may share DNA, but you’re not my sister, so please don’t refer to yourself as such. B) How about introducing yourself and telling me how you got my name, rather than just announcing yourself as my sibling? C) Yeahhhh I dont know what you expect from me, but your father left when I was really young and had nothing to do with me for my whole life, what makes you think I want to know you?
I feel like if she had just said “Hi there, I’m C, and I got your name from my grandmother F. I wanted to reach out to you because I just learned that we are related, B is my father.” I probably wouldn’t have had such an adverse reaction. But to drop a bomb in txt-speak? It sort of boiled my blood.
Upon further thought, I realize that it’s not her fault, and she’s probably just excited to know that she has a half brother and a half sister biologically, or just curious and wants to get to know us.
What a weird day…