Post # 1
Ok.. so my dad passed away 2 yrs ago 2/16/09. Last year we all got together and went to dinner his anniversary. this year, my sister wasnt able to make on THE DAY, so we moved it to tonight. I checked everyones schedule and made sure it was ok with everyone. I emailed my step mom Thursday to remind her of the time. I texted her yesterday to remind of her the time. no response. I text her today at 130 saying ” hey, didnt here back from you, dinner is at 530, we have to be there are 515 and they wont seat you until everyone is there” she said ok. she will be there.
Come 520, she isnt there. i text her and said where are you? she said OMG i lost track of time, im leaving in 2 mins…. ummm yea she is atleast 15-20 mins away. How F’d up is that? there are 12 other people waiting on you, were are standing in the restaraunt and you didnt even leave your house yet? Great way to show some respect for my Father, who you supposedly loved.
I told her dont bother coming, we are going to lose our reseravation and i told her i was sorry but i had no choice. the restaurant was getting packed and that we could reschedule with just us at another time.
I dont feel like I am wrong. she is pissed but whatever. everyone else managed to get there on time. and i even texted you a few hours before hand and you lost track of time??
what would you have done?
Post # 3
I think you’re being oversensitive. I think your emotions tied to this day because of your father’s death are clouding your ability to realize that everyone – regardless of how much they care about someone – forgets to look at the clock every now and then! I think you should have accommodated her – how hard is it to pull a chair up to a table after the fact, really?
Post # 4
I dont know. While I wouldn’t want to lose my reservation, I don’t necessarily think telling your fathers widow to not come just because she was late was the right thing to do. Maybe she really did lose track of time, which is a bit flaky, but she had every right to be at that dinner and I don’t blame her for being upset. There are other restaurants you could have gone.
ETA: I find it weird that a restaurant wouldn’t sit you until the whole party is there. I’ve been to restaurants all over the country and I’ve never heard of such a thing. Maybe I’m visiting the wrong places.
Post # 5
if it was any other restaurant that would have been totally acceptable. but it was hibatchi. they dont seat you until your entire party is there. to make 12 other people wait i think was rude. she is always late to everything. that is why i made it a point to tell her to be there by 515 and remind her that we couldnt be seated until everyone was present. i beleive that i did the best i could in reminding someone to be on time.
I honestly think that if i didnt text her to see where she was, we will still be there waiting for her.
yes i have emotions because of the situation, but when i remind you for 3 days…i dont really think there is an excuse for not showing up on time. =(
Post # 6
@LNT: I know texting is the communication of choice these days, but do you think it would have been more effective to call her? Since she never responded to your texts, who knows if she actually ever read them. 🙁
I agree with PPs here that as your father’s widow, she did have a right to be at that dinner. I probably would have just waited and let everyone’s grumbling tummies and “I’m SOO hungry” complaints be her punishment when she gets there.
Post # 7
“Great way to show some respect for my Father, who you supposedly loved.”
You’re overreacting and it shows in this post. It’s understandable because I’m sure it’s an emotional time, but please cut your step mother some slack. You’ve never been late in your life? She was honest and said she lost track of time, humans make mistakes.
Sorry to hear of your loss, this should be a time for rememberance not arguing with family. Family is so important, no sense causing drama over 15 minutes.
Post # 8
Yeah I agree with PPs. Is it annoying that she was running late? Yes. But it’s not cause to cut her out of the dinner entirely. I think she has every right to be upset. You honestly have no idea what she was doing – she may have been having a rough day remembering him. I know tension and emotion probably played a lot into both her oversight and your reaction.
And why would you lose the reservation if she were only 15 minutes away? If the restaurant was courteous at all (and I’m sure they would have lost a HUGE amount of business had your party left) then it could have worked out fine, I think.
Post # 9
Thanks Bees. =)
yes i do have alot of emotions rolling through right now. I guess I have a hard time seeing the other side of things. And I still dont think there is an excuse for being late. im just hard headed that way. but i do see everyone elses point.
Have a good night =)