(Closed) Ummmm, really Mom?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

The day after I got engaged my mother started writing a guest list, just her list included 350 people! I sat down with my mother and we went through the list and the deal was if me and Darling Husband didn’t know who they were then they didn’t make the cut. Needless to say my parents paid for most of the wedding, but still I didn’t want ti out of control. We ended up having 210 people and it was perfect. Your mother is probably just really excited that her daughter is getting married and she wants everyone she knows to witness it, no my advice would be to handle with kid gloves but explain to her how expensive each guest is and you only want those people there that you know and are close with the celebrate with you.

Post # 3
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know it’s going to be hard, but you will have to put your foot down somewhere.  Hopefully you can make a compromise though.  Especially if you’re paying for the majority of the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissNachoLover: I’m sure she’ll be understanding, but I agree with the fact that she’s probably extremely excited.  🙂 Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Guest lists are almost always a stress factor.  I’m sorry you have to deal with this so early!  I’d say, leave the guest list alone until you look for a venue. Or better yet, until you get ready to send out Save-The-Date Cards.  Then you will have the “the venue has a XXX person limit!” excuse if things go overboard.

My parents were fine, actually they were the other extreme.  I suggested people from our family and they said “What? No. I don’t think they would come.” Gee thanks.  I know it is an overseas trip to my wedding for all of my relatives, but an invite would be nice anyway, right?

Future Mother-In-Law went the other way, even though I tried to keep everything under control.  When I saw friends of FMIL’s they would tell me they were excited to come to the wedding.  I wondered why they thought they would be invited, until it dawned on me that Future Mother-In-Law told them they would, that’s why.  Also, we got a few RSVPs that made Fiance and I look at each other and say “Who is this?”

Post # 8
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@AprilJo2011: I’ve had family members who spoke up about people I shouldn’t put on the list. I’ve looked at them in awe like “seriously, you’re going to tell me which of my friends I want to invite?”  Haha.  Everyone else always knows best.

Post # 9
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

My Mother-In-Law invited 6 people (all day) who we did not know, and also Father-In-Law invited two of thier neighbours (again who we dont know) for one reason only – ‘they dont drink so they will give us a lift home’    !!!!!!

Post # 11
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I also need to listen to my sister and stop sharing stuff with my mother until I’m ready to hear opinions.  I just get excited.  Then I share and get annoyed.  LOL.

We could be sisters! We’re excited for your wedding so feel free to share with us.

 

Post # 12
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Mrs X: Wow, really?  I’m sure their plate cost would have easily covered a cab, right?

Post # 14
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh yes.  I love my Mother-In-Law, but she invited 10 couples we’ve never met, along with family that Fiance hasn’t seen in decades and I’ve never met.  Just had to put my foot down.  And….his family is already enormous (80+ people invited…from his side).  I just had to reason with her and say that there needed to be a limit.

Post # 15
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yep yep all true. oh and added one on two days before wedding. Only when we started planning the wedding did i discover i had the Mother-In-Law form hell!! I have a list of oh no she didnts, and this was a walk in the park to some things she did. My advise – dont get involved in the politics, argee with Darling Husband2B that you will listen to parents go home and decide between you. and each have one veto card for the whole wedding coz something will happen lol. thinking of putting it all on here soon lol

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