Post # 1
As soon as I got engaged, I sort of jumped the gun and started asking my closest friends to be bridesmaids, without giving it much thought. But one, is just not well-liked by…anyone really.
- She’s got a lot of negative energy (victim of everything)
- She may have spread a nasty rumor about my sister (also a BM) at work
- She tends to get belligerent when she drinks and is a loose cannon.
- My fiance doesn’t really care for her at all because she’s made rude and inappropriate comments to him while drunk. He also associates my friendship w/ her with drinking (rightly so)
- Although she’s been a close friend (mostly in my party days) she doesn’t have a lot of positive influence in my life or my relationship
On a side note, she doesn’t get too excited about weddings and begged me not to make her wear a dress, so that may proviode insight on how involved she’d be anyway.
I don’t think she is a good choice and I want to un-ask her.
My sister said I could use her as an easy out by saying she wouldn’t be in it if the other one is. Should I use that excuse or be honest and hurt her feelings even more?
Post # 3
If you are interested in preserving some sort of friendship with her, you probably shouldn’t be totally honest.
Post # 4
This is a tough one. You know her and how she would react. How would she react if you said something like, “Mary, I love you and when I got engaged, I was so excited and kind of jumped the gun asking everyone to be my bridesmaid. Fiance really wants the sides to be even and I have more bridesmaids than groomsmen. I know you don’t want to wear a dress and you aren’t into weddings that much, so I thought you would understand.”?
If it were me, I would keep her as a bridesmaid and maybe limit how much she is involved in things. It sounds like you are close enough that even if she wasn’t a bridesmaid, she would still be at the wedding. So being a bridesmaid isn’t that much different.
Post # 5
You asked her. I think unless the rumor spreading or the inappropriate comments to your Fiance occured after you did so, then you knew who she was before you asked and it would kind of unfair to tell her that now these things are deal breakers.
Post # 6
Well, I wouldnt honestly un ask her because she is your friend you know? And who cares if people dont like her- shes your friend for a reason- bcuase YOu like her However- if you feel that you want a more happier bunch wearing dresses and is more keen for this position– then just be very straight forward with her and tell her that you would love for her to be ur bridesmaid but you think that So or so would probably enjoy being a bridesmaid cuz of the dress wearing a part alittle more? you of course dotn wanna hurt her feelings but i do think youd perfer a more enthusiatic group as bridesmaid– but make sure its becuase of this inention and not becuase of the fac that others dont like her..?
Post # 7
If you asked her and you’re friends with her, then what does it really matter if no one else likes her? I’ve been in plenty of weddings where I wasn’t totally fond of one of the bridesmaids (especially my sister’s SIL…), but whatever.
Unless she’s causing MAJOR drama or totally blowing off her responsibilities, I wouldn’t un-ask her. It just seems a little rude after you already asked for her to make a commitment to your wedding.