(Closed) Un-inviting a guest HELP!!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You already invited them, and they just haven’t gotten the form piece of paper.  I don’t mix work and fun b/c I need work to survive, etc.  But since it’s been done and it is your job, is there really no way to afford them? 

Post # 4
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m sorry but if it was me there would be no way I’d cut anyone who thinks their getting an invite that is just bad blood espically if its co-workers that you work with everyday. Its just asking for trouble.

Send all the invites and wait and see most likely not everyone you invite will want to or can’t come anyway so it won’t be an issue in the end.

Post # 6
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree, you really did already invite them. You didn’t say why you need to cut the guestlist, so I don’t know what to tell you. If it’s because of your venue, can you change venues? If it’s because you can’t afford dinner for everyone, would you consider doing a dessert reception? You can also try to cut other things out of your budget, because keeping those 10 people isn’t THAT much of a difference in most weddings, unless they have plus ones.

I dunno, hope this helps.

Post # 7
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah, you’ve invited them.  This is exactly why I haven’t asked any of my coworkers for addresses for STD’s.  They’ll be my b-listers. 

You should just not invite anyone else.  Cap your list now.  And then, hopefully with “no’s” you’ll make your number you want.  

Post # 9
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@amw511s:  well certainly you don’t have to send a STD, but put them on the b-list instead?  Then once you get closer to sending the invites, you can potentially let them know then that you don’t have room?  Or put them on the b-list and see if people start declining…?

Post # 11
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@amw511s: $80 per person seems like a lot to me! But I agree with PPs, you’ve already invited them just as much as if you had sent them an actual invitation. Do you have to send out Save-The-Date Cards at all? I’m not, it’s going to save quite a bit of money. Everyone I’m inviting already knows the date and I’ve been checking up with relatives to make sure they have the date on their calendar, kind of an informal STD setup. Maybe by cutting costs in other areas you could still fit them in?

Post # 12
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

personally, i wouldnt’t want to attend someones wedding if I’m on their “b listt” seems a little rude. i say you either invite them or dont. you cant just have people hanging onto the hope that they are coming to a wedding that you dont have intentions of being there unless you need the numbers.

Post # 13
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t send any Save-The-Date Cards to coworkers. As you get closer, you can figure out if you can invite them all or not.

When the invites do go out, if you invite some but not all, ask the ones that you do invite that unforunately you aren’t able to include everyone in the office and you would appreciate their discretion.

If someone does ask why they didn’t get an invite, just say that you had to have a smaller wedding.

I just wouldn’t make any big announcements yet or label people as “b-list” just yet.

Post # 14
17 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

You know what one of my co-workers did? He invited people from work to come to his wedding reception *after* the dinner was served, so they were able to join the party but it didn’t cost anything to have them.  I think people are pretty understanding, especially if you have a lot of co-workers.  I’m inviting about 14 of them and I actually asked some of the people I invited for advice on who else to invite… another thing you can do is just pick 5 people or so and as them to pick 1 person each they want to have from work come as well.  Its hard because you already asked for addresses but maybe you can just tell them all that you can’t afford so many guests most people understand!

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