(Closed) Un-inviting guests?!? Awkward!!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm I’m interested as to what the real reason is here. Well, if he’s asking you to do it, he must have a pretty good reason. I usually would say you have to invite everyone who got a STD but if he’s adamant about not inviting them then don’t and make HIM deal with any potential drama later since it wasn’t your call not to invite them. But seriously, if it comes back to you say “Sorry but it was not my nor was it FI’s decision.” Father-In-Law has to deal with fallout on this.

Post # 4
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would give it some time, you don’t have to send them out today, right?  Maybe see how it plays out in a little while…  I am sorry, that sounds tough!  My mom asked me not to invite her brother, and I didn’t and then he asked why he hated received a STD, so I sent one.  I would just play it be ear, be flexible and see how things play out.

Post # 6
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe in some time, Fiance and Father-In-Law can talk and then Fiance can make a decision from there, as it is his “family”.  I think it might be best between them two. ???

Post # 7
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Wait, is this your FI’s maternal grandmother and aunt?  Or was your Fi’s dad married (and divorced) from someone other than your FI’s mom?

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had to not send an invitation to someone who got a STD. I didn’t even think about it until I read your post. It is someone I’ve never met, a friend of FI’s parents who turned on them recently (long story) and are now therefore uninvited. I didn’t know this until the day before the invites were mailed, but luckily we caught it in time to cross their name off the list.

Post # 9
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I’m assuming that these are not blood relatives but relatives of a former step-parent.  I think that you should do as your Future Father-In-Law asks as long as it is not a blood relation… that you are disinviting… If you have a good relationship with your Fiance former step mom, and I assume that you do… then I’d let her know that there was a problem that has nothing to do with her, but in sensitivity to your Future Father-In-Law you are choosing to do as he asks so as not to make a scene at the wedding festivities.  (I would word it carefully, and ask her if she might help ease the tension…  It definitely sounds like you are in the middle of a unique situation, but I think that it is not reasonable to assume that you are going to abandon a the FOG for a non relative… 

Post # 10
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My dad told me not to send an invite (after the STD had been sent) to a blood relative who they are feuding with.

My mom told me later to secretly send the invite anyways since it’s rude not to and there was a 99.99% chance they won’t come anyways. 

 

Post # 11
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmmm… there are several ways to deal with this.  I would hold off on your decision for now, since you have some time and maybe since the situation is so recent. 

Is there any chance that these relatives would make the decision to not come, even if they were invited?  It’s possible that they would, realizing the awkwardness of the situation, decide to not attend the wedding.

 

Post # 13
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think there is serious drama, they probably won’t come anyway. And if you think they are the kind of people to come despite drama, they will most likely do anyway, since an STD is really technically an invitation. So I don’t see why you wouldn’t just go ahead and send the invitation to prevent any problems for yourself and your Fiance. Just explain to your Father-In-Law that you would have to deal with the fall-out, and that you’d rather to the appropriate thing and not add fuel to the fire.

Post # 14
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

um, my only advice has already been given – wait and see how things pan out before July/August when you actually send the invites (yay date twin!!!)

but can you please update us when you find out what happened? I have a dark, secret place in my heart that loves drama.

Post # 15
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I hate that feeling. One of my bridesmaids went nuts and got in a HUGE fight with my fiance… so I had to un-invite and un-bridesmaid her. That was pretty awkward.

Hope it works out for you!

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