(Closed) Unasking bridesmaids

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do??
    a : (2 votes)
    3 %
    b : (3 votes)
    5 %
    c : (45 votes)
    78 %
    d : (8 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    There is absolutely NO one he can ask? I mean, nooooo one? Even one more person would even it out a bit. Cousins, parents, grandparents?

    Even if there’s not, I feel like that’s kind of a bad reason to unask people–you can’t really do that. I guess it’s just a lesson in waiting until you’re fully prepared to ask everyone… but seriously, I would so not worry about the unevenness! You asked the ones you wanted to be there for you, and you care about them enough to have them up there, so keep them! 🙂

    Good luck! I know wedding stuff like this can be sooo frustrating…

    Post # 4
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I’m going to vote for no unasking. Our wedding party is uneven and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We asked everyone in it because they are our closest friends and family and we feel so special to have them. I think it’s a little extreme to unask people after they’ve already agreed, unless you really think they personally would be better off.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I don’t think this is a nice reason to “unask” people.

    Can your “bridesman” be on his “side”?  I’m a personal believer that you don’t have to have your own people on your “side” – for example, two of my male cousins are groomsmen even though they are not related to Fiance.

    I say move the “bridesman” to be a groomsman and then you have 5 and 3 which is fine.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    To 2nd Cinema’s point, my brother had our uncle in his wedding party to make it even. Not because he was super close with him. My uncle was more than happy to oblidge.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2475 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think it’s perfectly fine to have an uneven bridal party. 

    Also, I second the suggestion of having your bridesman stand with the groomsmen.  One of my guy friends will be standing on my FI’s side.  That should help balance it out a little for you. 

    I wouldn’t unask anyone.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am generally of the opinion that un-asking bridesmaids is ok if they have been disrespectful of your relationship, mean about the wedding, or done something else horrible. In this case, it seems like the only issue is that you have too many, and honestly, it’s not a great reason to start un-asking. You risk hurting a lot of feelings for no reason. 

    A lot of people have uneven wedding parties these days, so I think you should go for that. I understand 6 vs. 2 is a bit extreme, but honestly, this is why everyone says not to ask wedding party right away! What about having your “bridesman” stand up on the groom’s side? That way it will be 3 vs. 5, which won’t look ridiculously uneven. We are having my brother as a groomsman even though it’s really me who is asking him to stand up with us. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    yeah, i agree with the asking your “bridesman” to be a groomsman. my friend had a best guy friend that she knew since childhood and instead of asking him to be a “bridesman” she just had him be a groomsman. also, i’m asking my fiance to include 3 of my cousins as groomsmen even though i am the one who wants them up there. i would definitely not unask people, that sounds like it could get really hairy and really offend people.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think you can also have family members as groomsmen.  My husband’s best man was his dad which was actually really sweet because his grandpa was best man for his dad.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I say just leave it as is.  Wedding parties don’t have to be even.  Asking your friends to step down would cause some serious hurt.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I’m choosing other.  Have him ask his cousin and have your bridesman stand on his side.  That way you have 4 and 3. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I always liked bridal parties that were uneven…it gives the appearance you guys picked who you really wanted to be in the wedding and not just matching sides.

    Post # 15
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

    glad you made a decision, mlglass! the hive rushes to the rescue again!

    Post # 16
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    i’m having to do this as well. i’m just asking two bridesmaids to be “honorary” they’ll still be in some portraits and still wear a basic color  but they won’t stand with us. they will also be mentioned in hte program, and i will be giving htem corsages

    The topic ‘Unasking bridesmaids’ is closed to new replies.

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