Post # 1
My fiance and I have had a VERY rocky past.
I’ve been cheated on by him, and he kept his ex girlfriend around at the beginning and lied about it. Which has really messed with my head.
Fast forward 4 years we own a home, were engaged and have a dog.
His sister is friends with the ex girlfriend and invited her to HER baby shower, and told me it’s okay and she understands if I won’t go.
This makes me feel like im not important to their family I feel disrespected, and uncomfortable, and upset about the whole thing. I’ve told my fiance how I feel and he told me I’m selfish, and a drama queen. He said it’s all in my head. Now this girls isnt JUST an ex, she has tried to fight me in person before, she would beg for my fiance back after she cheated on him, and so much MORE!
Originally she wasn’t invited to the baby shower, but she has manipulated my fiances sister into inviting her.
I don’t feel very good about any of this. I have feelings of uncertainty for our future. I don’t feel like my fiance understands or is standing by me at all.What do you think about it?
Do you think it’s time for me to move on?
Post # 2
I think you should draw boundaries and not go to the shower. The sister can invite who ever she wants. You also have the choice to not go.
Edit- as for not being sure about the Fiance… that is a totally different issue.
Post # 3
I honestly can’t believe you are still with him. He cheated on you! And now he’s calling you names for feeling hurt about the way his sister handled the shower? Sorry I would have been gone a long time ago. Yes the sister is entitled to invite who ever she wants but you as her sister-in-law should come before her brothers ex. She should have at least approached it differently To you instead of just saying “I understand if you dont want to go” which to me is a slap in the face response.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t go to the shower, its not worth your time. Unfortunately we all can’t be friends with our in-laws.
However, your FI’s behaviour is pretty uncalled for. You obviously hope he would have your back and the fact that he’s quicker to call you a drama queen, doesn’t really make him seem mature to me.
Post # 5
You’re kind of glutton for punishment in a way. He sounds like he was shitty when you got together and he’s still shitty now. Im not exactly sure why you want to be with someone who calls you a selfish drama queen cause you don’t want to hang out with his ex?
Post # 6
Yeah I have to agree with everyone else here, your SIL can invite whoever she wants and it’s your choice to attend or not. I think the bigger issue is with your Fiance. You definitely have a lot of issues that need to be worked on. He cheated, and he kept his ex around and he doesn’t seem to support you much. I’d be out of there if my Boyfriend or Best Friend did just one of those things.
Post # 7
Future Sister-In-Law can do what ever she wants but the day Fiance doesn’t have my back ie calls me selfish, drama queen etc over things that matter to me… bye.
Post # 8
Yes, you should probably move on. Not because of the sister, and the ex and the shower, but because of the rocky past, the cheating, your FI’s dismissal of your concerns/feelings, and your own feelings of uncertainty about your future.
Post # 9
AlexandraSisi: Second line told me all I needed to know, were I in your situation. But also your fiance says you’re selfish for not wanting to attend his sister’s shower when the ex-girlfriend (that he cheated with) will be there? What the hell? You are getting zero respect here. Only you can decide what’s right of course, but I think the answer is obvious. Curious as to why you even like him, actually, or ever made it far enough to buy a house and a pet with him.
Post # 10
If you have to ask then you already know the answer.
Post # 11
I think your SO is being dismissive of your feelings. Ex stuff aside…this girl was violent towards you! Safety first, screw that chick.
Post # 12
SIL doesn’t have her priorities straight as her future SIL should come before the ex…. But nothing you can do about that. Although I do agree it’s a slap in the face. Your Fiance on the other hand should have your back and understand where you’re coming from. “Drama Queen” is not something someone on your side should say to you. Clearly he is not completely remorseful for the past, or he would do anything to get this ex out of your lives and off your mind, just to give you peace and faith of it getting better and working out. Your not selfish bee, he is. Sorry 🙁