Uncle bringing his married fling as +1

posted 2 months ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
6030 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

sbl99 :  Aren’t you busy planning a wedding? I’ve done it. That shit takes a lot of time, effort and energy. Why are you getting all het up and plotting out phone calls with your uncle and looking for drama? Just invite him and his guest or don’t. It’s not like her husband is going to show up at your wedding and act a fool. All you have to do is invite them or not and stay focused on planning your wedding.

Post # 34
Member
6030 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

sbl99 :  But what fallout is even possible? and fallout from whom? His lover and her marital status is their business. Why would anyone come to you about it? You didn’t introduce them and you didn’t send her husband an invite and place them all at a table together. If you just stay clear that it’s not something you need to answer for, that can keep things really simple for you.

If anyone says anything to you, you can just say “There isn’t really anything to discuss with me. If you have something to say to [Uncle], do it after my wedding. Now is not the time or the place.”

Post # 36
Member
11797 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Stop with the cost of the plate and entitlement to gifts mentality. That is crass and only paints you in a bad light. You are also making no sense about the “fallout.” The solution to being upset after the fact that you invited the affair partner is not to invite her! Are you implying the uncle will not come without her? So what? But you don’t even know that would be the case. 

Post # 37
Member
8774 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

sbl99 :  You are making yourself look as gross as him here. And like a much bigger drama queen. There’s an easy, acceptable answer. You’re going the greedy melodramatic one. Ok, have fun. Bye.

Post # 39
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

sbl99 :  

I didn’t take you as greedy, just a vent. I think often when we are annoyed about something we throw in little side rants. Of course spending $170 on a plate for someone who doesn’t show up is frustrating and a waste of money. Maybe she will show up, who knows. But with a fling it’s tough to count on longevity.

My original advice is exactly what you are doing: not my circus, not my monkeys. BUT, I would probably be irritated as well.

Post # 40
Member
11797 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

sbl99 :  You still haven’t adequately explained why not inviting your uncle’s affair partner would inevitably cause drama in the family. I can’t imagine your relatives support this relationship any more than you do. You have not thus far given evidence to suggest your uncle would not attend without her or that people would blame you if he didn’t. 

Post # 42
Member
5 posts
Newbee

sbl99 :  you can remind him that the pics will be all over social media and unless he wants to be #caught he might wanna think twice about bringing her

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