- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Oh the Bee! How I missed thee.
So it’s all said and done. I am married now. Yay. Everything went fine on that front. Which I am very thankful for.
I need some luv n’ advice from fellow bees with idiot uncles… (or aunts, or parents, etc!)
So my mom’s younger bro comes over a few days before the wedding and makes a huge stink about the stupidest thing… I.e. my mom not having given enough sweets etc. when she sent out Invites. (This is a South Asian tradition to take boxes of sweets with an invite to local persons.) He didn’t think about this 2 mths ago when he got the invite to begin with. He brought along with him a crateful of sweets and told her that since she’s too poor to afford anything, he’s pickin’ up the tab. And that she should admit that she has thought or done was wrong or else. And used some colourful vocabulary to describe her. (Didn’t call her a b*tch outright but compared her to one, etc.) He furthermore forgot that the house is not sound-proof so he can be heard quite well to neighbors and also outside in general. Ugh!
Anyways, it’s pretty obvious the point is that he was jealous and has a personal vendetta totally different from the issue he decided to yell at my mom about. And I mean he B-T-C-H-D her out. Him and his wife were super loud and angry that the neighbours could hear easily. We weren’t at home at the time. We walked into this mess. He shut up at that point of course.
Later my bro went and told EVERY single relative and his own friends (not my uncles friends, but his own) of this. Now everyone already knows how idiotic this uncle and hsi wife are. People just kind of tolerated them throughout all these years. And as have we. However I felt he REALLY crossed a line this time. And I had no problem going public with this. I suggested that he is welcome to the wedding provided he apologizes to my mom first. He would never do anything like that. (Wayyy too arrogant for that!)
This obviously pissed him off and he has decided to cut off contact with us. Then furthermore he has called ppl on the morning of my wedding to tell them that if they show up, they will never speak to this person again. But ppl did still show up of course. Just his wife’s side of the family didn’t. Whom I couldn’t care less about. They are not attached to me in any way. We don’t ever really see them either throughout the year.
One of the daughter of this uncle and i were quite close and she obviously cut off contact with me as well because she felt that we have humiliated her as well by humiliating her parents publicly. Though I’d wish ppl would realize how much damage some ppl cause that sometimes drastic measures need to be taken. And if u don’t do something about it, someone else will. And they will probably not be as nice.
This uncle’s and my mom’s parents are ok with how we handled things. And so are some of their elder siblings. Just one of them thinks that keeping peace at any cost is the only thing that’s important. But then again, he has NEVER lived anywhere NEAR these ppl, nor been in touch with them for yrs. He shows up to weddings. That’s all.
Should I bother trying to regenerate a relationship with the daughter? She hasn’t had the best relationship with her parents but it’s not bad either. Kids do tend to stand up for their parents by instinct inspite of how wrong their parent might be. Which I don’t think is wrong. Except that I won’t normally be caught doing that. If my parents are wrong abt something, they get to hear it from us. And vice-versa. We only spare truth and honesty in this house. That can be a little nerve-wrecking at times but in the grand scheme of things, we all have clear consciences.
Would u want to bother with it or just leave it as is? Mind you, this is all during my wedding and it took a LOT away from the wedding itself already as is. I of course don’t want it to creep into my marriage. So I want to get some authentic Bee advice on what is a good solution.