(Closed) Uncle/Niece Dance Reluctance

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1692 posts
Bumble bee

@futureflyer:  The various “showcase” dances that people have at wedding dinners are NOT required by etiquette. In fact, they are one of those minor violations of traditional etiquette that people indulgently allow because wedding days are special.

The proper thing at any formal dinner dance, is for the host and hostess to “open the floor” by dancing a few measures together, after which other dancing partners join them on the dance floor. At a wedding, the host and hostess usually yield this honour to the bride and groom for their first dance together as husband and wife, and the other guests usually allow the rest of the wedding party to be the first to join them on the dance floor.

It is very sweet for a girl to have her “last dance” with her father, or a boy to have a “last dance” with his mother. But a gentleman is supposed to ask various ladies to dance in the course of an evening, so such dances are properly allowed simply to happen. They do not need to be made the centre of anyone’s attention except for the two people sharing the dance. It is very artificial to make a big announcement and clear the dance floor, and then present those personal moments as a “show” with the guests as audience. People generally do not want to stand around watching other people dance, and you are certainly not required to force that situation.

Post # 4
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No you do not have to dance with him. In fact, unless you feel uncomfortable with the idea, I would suggest walking alone unless you talk to your uncle to make sure he does not make any inappropriate remarks on your wedding day (which may cause you distess). My Fiance and I are actually walking down together. 

Post # 5
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with the PP – I wouldn’t do a dance with him and I would really consider having someone else walk you (a brother?) or walking alone!

Post # 8
47421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@futureflyer:  If you feel like you simply can’t get out of this without hurt feelings, you can always dance only the first part of a song with him, then have your DH, Mom , and his parents join you on the floor for a family dance. He would then dance with your Mom, while you danced with your DH.

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