Uncomfortable with NOLA Bachelor Party

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2006

Meh, I live close to NOLA and I wouldn’t be cool with it either. Tell him how you feel. 

Post # 17
Member
816 posts
Busy bee

Personally I would not be ok with this and my husband would never even suggest this because he knows the answer would be a big fat NO. You’re allowed to have a voice and feelings that should b respected. You should just tell him you’re uncomfortable with it. 

Post # 18
Member
887 posts
Busy bee

If I read right you’ve been with him 7yrs? Idk bee, I feel like that is ample time to *know* your partner fairly well. He *should* know what makes you uncomfortable, boundaries for the relationship, etc etc. Whether he feels like this trip isnt the best idea for him/relationship or whatever. I actually (interesting enough) had a convo with my SO tonight about bachelorette parties. Anyways (wanna make it clear I am not judging other relationship boundaries and Nola, etc) I’ve been to NOLA several times. 2 times during Mardi gras, but one of those times were during the wildness. I have been with my SO for many yrs and many of those yrs i spent working on myself. I am a very modest person and sexually shy. When my SO and i went during mardi gras I felt uncomfortable with people flirting with *me* and seeing beads flying with the sight of boobs flashing. However I did glance over and noticed my SO turning his head to a different direction when girls would flash for beads. As much as I didnt *like* him seeing that I knew I couldnt punish him for having eye sight and I was grateful to have a man acknowledge the situation and detach himself from the situation. I trust my SO and thats what matters.

We all have feelings, but just remember we have to live our lives how we see fit and comfortable. You need to have a boundary convo with him if you haven’t already.

Post # 20
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I went to Mardi Gras last year and honestly the boob situation is really over played. On Bourbon St they don’t even really allow people to do it except on one block where they turn a blind eye. To me it was really just overcrowded shuffling around, parades and drunk people. There are tons of strip clubs yes but you could find one anywhere if that’s the issue. I do get being uncomfortable for sure, it’s never easy to let your SO out where there are purposeful temptations but just be honest about how you feel and if you trust him, let him go. I’m just never in favor of telling someone not to do something. Leads to resentment and trust issues.

Post # 23
Member
6425 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
hunnybunchesok :  Honestly, I think you’re overthinking it.  NOLA isn’t the only place he could go and see that stuff.  And not everyone is flashing their boobs for beads.  You can get fined for that now.  I think the biggest issue is not the actual place it’s your Fiance.  Has he ever indicated that he would do something you didn’t like?  It sounds like you let him go to strip clubs before as long as he didn’t get a lap dance.  If they’re going down for Mardi Gras they may not even be going to strip clubs?

Post # 24
Member
816 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
hunnybunchesok :  I trust my husband, and he also knows what my boundaries are and he knows certain things are not cool with me. I totally agree about not putting yourself in situations where temptation exists and bad things can happen. To me the whole notion of a man who’s about to get married just needs to go out and party and get strippers before commiting to the woman he loves is totally bizarre. We talked about strip clubs before our wedding and my husband said he wouldn’t want one anyway, it is not something that interests him. We got married in Las Vegas and he didn’t really have a bachelor party but the night before the wedding he went to the Cosmos with his friend and brother for a drink. He was texting me by 10 or 11 pm to say he was back in his hotel room.  Now maybe I’m naive and in the dark and they went to a strip Club without telling me, but I don’t think so lol. They are not wild party guys. So I never had the issue of my husband wanting to do something, me saying no, and his buddies making fun of him. The other thing I’d say is you are the company you keep. If your bf is in NOLA with all the wild party guys he’d probably go along with whatever they wanted to do.  I’m surprised he planned such a trip without talking to you first . Also he really shouldn’t care what his friends think. You’re gonna be his wife! Let them make fun, he’ll get over it. 

Post # 27
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
hunnybunchesok :  Controlling? No. He’s an adult. if he wants to go that bad, he will. My point is he should be able to go without you having any concerns. You should be able to trust him in this situation. I wouldn’t give it a second thought if my fiance went because I know with certainty he would control himself in any seductive situation he may find himself in. Can you trust what your fiance would do? If not, why not? He is always going to be surrounded by other women, when you’re not around. Women don’t have to show their boobs to seduce your fiance, you know. 

Post # 29
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

I think honesty and communication are of utmost importance in a relationship, so you should not feel bad for being honest about your feelings! There is nothing wrong with telling your Fiance that a situation makes you feel uncomfortable. That’s what adults do. And for what it’s worth, I trust my husband 10000% and I wouldn’t like this scenario. I’ve been to New Orleans at Mardi Gras and it’s a shit show. Girls legit are prancing around pulling their shirts up and flashing everyone. My husband wouldn’t touch one of these women with a 100-foot pole, but it doesn’t mean I want him walking down Bourbon Street watching tons of random ripping their shirts off. That’s a boundary in our relationship and that’s fine. It isn’t about trust, it’s about respect. I wouldn’t walk down a street where men whipped their dicks out and waved them around either, nor would my husband want me to. 

Post # 30
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Does anyone else remember the NOLA Bachelor Party post from days of yore?? 

Instant flashbacks!

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