- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
**Warning – This Post Contains Gratuitous Use of the “F” Word**
I’m not ashamed to admit it, the last five years have been a living hell for Mr. 99 and I, it seems from the second we got married, we have been fighting the uphill battle to repair his mangled body, stay afloat financially and emotionally….throw in his daughter getting pregnant not once, not twice, but THRICE!!!! And since she doesn’t live with us, the limited ability we had to try and get her back on track….his son has a lot of problems with the law, but once again, since we’re limited in our ability to do anything WITH these children, we just kind of have to look on with abject horror and watch the struggle continue…his family is a nightmarish hoarde of misanthropic psychopaths and to top it all off….the economy tanked…
So we never really got a chance to be newly weds…which sucks, I’ll admit that sucked a lot….I had to go from being a bride, to being a warrior, a protector, a provider and still limp my mother through a life threatening illness while my husband, wracked with guilt over what he thought was failing me as a husband and a man, pulled away from me in every way that a person can….
We came really close to losing each other about a year and a half ago….things just fell apart, we had totally withdrawn from each other and everything was a fuse just waiting to be lit….and then the funniest thing happened….he called me while I was on my way to work….told me he loved me, that he felt me slipping away and that while he was sure he could live without me, he’d probably never get over it….So we went to counseling, got our shit handled and found each other again, stronger than ever, because well….we’re beat to hell and covered with scars, but you can’t grow together without some pain, so we wear our marks proudly because it would probably be easier to pull the wind from the trees than Mr. 99 and I from each other…
Anyway…in that whole process, which is all coming to an end FINALLY! We got it over with and got kind of fat…ok REALLY fat….but food never says no, its always available, and in light of the stress and strain we were both under….I’m kind of proud of us for not becoming alcoholics or clock tower snipers….
Instead we turned into that chubby couple, who stays in all the time, cooks together, eats, takes a nap…doesn’t really do much and that is a total 180 from the people we were when we met….he was a man that could bench 300lbs without breaking a sweat and I had a body that could stop traffic…literally.
So in light of our fatness, and the end of our troubles…cause hey, we got this far right….Nona is under construction for 2014…time to get rid of this insulation I’ve packed on to protect myself, time to get back in the gym and time be that woman again….the one that can stop a man at fifty yards, just by turning around…..
This week, I’m settling for cutting out any and all processed food, no sugar, chocolate, dairy or fried anything….next week….a 5 day long fasting cleanse to get rid of all the crap in my body because honest to god, I’m broken out like a 14 year old and I feel like shit…time to clean house….after that…begins the working out….
I don’t know why I’m posting this, I certainly don’t expect anyone to care….it’s my own fault this happened, but its never too late to change things for the better….either way, if anyone needs a buddy, I’m here…if not, GO ME!