(Closed) Undercover bee – hurt & embarrassed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

@undercoverlover: My first thought : WTF?! Second: I am pretty sure that is sexual harassment. Especially if he is doing it at work! AND YOUR SISTER?! tell him he needs to stop NOW. 

Post # 4
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Start grabbing other dudes’ asses, maybe that’ll help him understand where you’re coming from, and how much it really hurts you. What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander. Sometimes, men need to be shown something before they get it.

Post # 5
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

eeeek, I can totally understand why that would bother you. I would be REALLY uncomfortable if my Fiance acted like that. To be honest, it’s really immature, and kinda gross.

Have you actually sat down with him alone to talk about how this makes you feel? I would suggest calmly doing so, without getting angry (which I’m sure wil be hard since it obviously upsets you). Sometimes when I bring somehting up to Fiance in front of our friends, etc, he doesn’t realise how serious I really am unless i bring it up again later….maybe that’s the case?

Post # 7
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would feel the same way you do. The fact that he thinks its ok to objectify women this way doesn’t speak too highly of him. Its disrespectful. I’d tell him to quit it or else.

Where in the eff does he work that he gets away with slapping a coworker on th *ss?

Post # 8
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sounds like you need to have a serious conversation with him.  It probably is a joke to him and I’m sure people laugh when he does it so he thinks it’s ok.  You have to tell him how it makes you feel and how you want to leave him over it.  If he still can not stop then he does not have any respect for your feelings and that will lead to other things IMO.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh, you have to nip that in the bud. Put your foot down about it and insist that he stop… not that weak sauce “I’m not impressed” language. Explain to him how you feel when he does it and that you will not tolerate it. After all, how would he feel if another guy groped your bottom?!

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

@undercoverlover: wow. he can get into trouble for that when some woman calls him out on that. That’s assault.

 Ask him how he would feel if some guy grabbed your butt. If it’s ok in his eyes for him to do it then it’s ok for some other guy to do it to you, right? It’s ridiculous, if my co worker did that to me I would have turned his ass in to HR for sexual harrassment.

Post # 11
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

wow, that is completely inappropriate. How did you frame the conversation when you called him out on it last time? In other words, did you drive home the point that he is utterly disrespecting you with this behavior? Maybe ask him how he’d feel if you grabbed another dude’s junk, or talked about how you’d like to experience that particular element of some hot guy on TV… throwing it back on him might be the only way to make him understand how insulting this is to you.

Post # 12
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

He’s asking for a sexual harrassment suit.  Seriously.  It’s not okay, not appropriate, and demeaning.  You have to tell him that to protect his career and reputation, that kind of behavior must stop immediately. 

Post # 15
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

He obviously thinks its funny and harmless and I don’t think this means he loves you less, or would cheat, he just sounds like he is being really immature. So you need to be as honest with him as you have been on this board. Tell him that it bothers you so much that you are considering leaving him over it, and that should open up his eyes, that this is not a joke.

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