Post # 1
Hi Bees, Ihave a question… I am blessed that I have so many close friends that I want as BM’s but I was very very underwhelmed by some of their responses when I asked them to be a bridesmaid – did anyone else have this issue?
The majority were trilled but a couple said ‘didn’t think you would want me’ (said all sulky as I didn’t ask her straight away) and ‘ but my bf will be on his own all day’ (come on, he’s a 30 year old man!!!!)
It was a tough decision deciding on my BM’s and in the end I decided that I loved them all so much that I just couldn’t cut out any so my original 6 is now 8 and a flower girl!!!! The second I decided to have them all I felt happy, like I made the right decision but their reactions have left me feeling really down. I didn’t expect them to be jumping up and down with joy but I thought our friendship meant enough that they would be happy that I think so much of them.
Am I over analysing this?!
Also, I am worried that a couple think that they mean less to me because I am having so many bridesmaids – one said that she didn’t feel as special being one out of 8 bridesmaids rather than a small bridal party. I love all of my girls so much and I love them all for themselves as individuals and just because there are 8 of them it doesn’t mean I value any of them any less.
Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant! I kind of just need a sounding board for my feelings!
Post # 3
Try not to worry about it. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man say the same thing about her 40 year old boyfriend. I wouldn’t worry about them thinking that just because there are more of them they mean less to you. I was initally worried because my best friend who I would have picked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, ended up being a Bridesmaid or Best Man because of how far away she was. She was cool with it. Don’t take it personally if people aren’t jumping up and down. Honestly, right now it’s probably too far in the future for them to be super excited. I’m sure they’ll get more and more excited as the day gets closer!
Post # 4
Ha ha, when one of my closest friends asked me, I was really tempted to say NO. She actually had to convince me. I didn’t want to tell her that I knew she was going to go Bridezilla on me and I didn’t want to be part of it. Unfortunately, she did go Bridezilla. I almost DID stop talking to her and I would NEVER be in another party again. I am asking my two sisters and that’s it.
Post # 5
I understand what you’re feeling. I’ve been worried about offending friends by not asking them to be in my bridal party. Yes, we are probably both over analyzing this but that is the nature of some people, me especially! So, try not to worry about it. Go with your heart and do what makes you happy. They are supposed to be there for you on you and your FI’s big day! If you’re that worried just let them know how excited you are to have them all in your bridal party. After that, get back to worrying about planning! Haha. Good luck with everything! Remember, your fellow bees are here for you!
Post # 6
It’s disappointing that they weren;t more enthused. I agree with you that having 8 doesn’t mean you care about them less than if it were a small bridal party – it’s also rude for your friend to say that as well as complain her boyfriend will be alone all day – get over it!!
The only question I would have is whether or not you are the bridezilla type or if they are anticipating high costs from you – at times BMs are not that excited about being involved and don’t want to be lumped with an expensive dress. Perhaps talk to them early about expectations/budgets.
Good luck with yoru wedding plans and enjoy!