(Closed) Underwhelmed by BM’s responses when asked to be in Bridal Party

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What do you think?
    You are being overly sensitve, don't worry about it...different people respond in different ways : (11 votes)
    48 %
    I'd be a bit annoyed but try to please them and get them involved and happy. : (5 votes)
    22 %
    Have a chat with each of them and explain how important it is to you that they are involved. : (2 votes)
    9 %
    I would fire them - if they aren't happy to be bridesmaids then you don't need them. : (0 votes)
    I'd ask my enthusiastic BM's to get the less-enthusiastic on board and feeling happy : (2 votes)
    9 %
    What they hell are you thinking having 8 bridesmaids? That's too many!!! : (3 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4546 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Try not to worry about it. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man say the same thing about her 40 year old boyfriend. I wouldn’t worry about them thinking that just because there are more of them they mean less to you. I was initally worried because my best friend who I would have picked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, ended up being a Bridesmaid or Best Man because of how far away she was. She was cool with it. Don’t take it personally if people aren’t jumping up and down. Honestly, right now it’s probably too far in the future for them to be super excited. I’m sure they’ll get more and more excited as the day gets closer!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2742 posts
    Sugar bee

    Ha ha, when one of my closest friends asked me, I was really tempted to say NO. She actually had to convince me. I didn’t want to tell her that I knew she was going to go Bridezilla on me and I didn’t want to be part of it. Unfortunately, she did go Bridezilla. I almost DID stop talking to her and I would NEVER be in another party again. I am asking my two sisters and that’s it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I understand what you’re feeling. I’ve been worried about offending friends by not asking them to be in my bridal party. Yes, we are probably both over analyzing this but that is the nature of some people, me especially! So, try not to worry about it. Go with your heart and do what makes you happy. They are supposed to be there for you on you and your FI’s big day! If you’re that worried just let them know how excited you are to have them all in your bridal party. After that, get back to worrying about planning! Haha. Wink Good luck with everything! Remember, your fellow bees are here for you!

    Post # 6
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    It’s disappointing that they weren;t more enthused.  I agree with you that having 8 doesn’t mean you care about them less than if it were a small bridal party – it’s also rude for your friend to say that as well as complain her boyfriend will be alone all day – get over it!! 

    The only question I would have is whether or not you are the bridezilla type or if they are anticipating high costs from you – at times BMs are not that excited about being involved and don’t want to be lumped with an expensive dress.  Perhaps talk to them early about expectations/budgets.

    Good luck with yoru wedding plans and enjoy!

     

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