(Closed) Underwhelmed by ring responses.

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 121
1492 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

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lurkingvee:  seems like your ring is the least of your issues. 

Post # 122
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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lurkingvee:  While I think this thread is slightly rediculous… and I really want to chime in with what PP have mentioned already, I THINK what I’m picking up is that – you’re upset about your MIL’s passing, and you didn’t exactly know internally how to translate your feelings into what to do about it.  So you picked a non-issue, and ran with it, making it into an issue to get some sort of attention and validation.

Like, the ring has nothing to do with anything that you’re really upset about, but you just know you feel gross inside, so you’re picking a random topic to complain about to try to reason through your sadness.

Obviously this has nothing to do with the ring (your ring is pretty, don’t worry about it).

Just, in the future, the BEE is a place you can come to and say your true feelings.  It would be more helpful for you if you came on here and said, “MIL just passed, trying to processes feelings” and you could vent and people would share their experiences.

Goodluck, and condolences to you both.

Post # 123
551 posts
Busy bee

Please don’t use your MILs passing to give guilt trips to the PPS who disagreed with your post. That is all.

Post # 124
6257 posts
Bee Keeper

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summerlove23: Well said

Ladies, I think it truly is time to move on from the original post.  She’s trying her best – OP is talking to people in her life and working to resolve her feelings.  She’s realizing she needs to be supportive of her fiance for the same reasons.  Why do we need to continue to dump on her at this point?  Lots of people project other issues when there’s something else upsetting them.  She sees, she’s learned, she’s moved on and so should we all.

OP, I’m sorry for you and your family’s loss.  I have always been grateful that my own Mother-In-Law has made it so long and many years ago was very worried I’d never see her again.  It’s hard, even when the worst doesn’t happen.  Be happy for your engagement and upcoming future – she would surely want you to be.  Just set it aside for a week or so until you’re ready to look at your plan without unnecessary guilt.  Help your fiance work through this time with you.   When the time comes, set up a beautiful memorial at your reception.

Post # 125
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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Xu:  did you seriously bust out the Viola gif?  #flatlinedat1215pm 😂😂😂

Post # 126
2956 posts
Sugar bee

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ClaudiaKishi:  dude, _speck is a genius!

Post # 128
5049 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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summerlove23:  this x1000


I think we all need to calm down and give the OP the benefit of doubt  that she is grieving and isn’t thinking clearly or logically. If she really is as materialistic and self centred as she comes across in this thread, then I hope that the comments from the BEEs encourages some inward reflection for the OP.


In this case I prefer to believe in the best case scenario…








Post # 129
8486 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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summerlove23:  Yeah, except not completely though. There’s still this: “the only reason that I asked for 1 ct was because I was afraid that I’d get comments that anything smaller was “dainty.”” which means  that well before her FMIL’s passing, she was worried about whether people would think her ring was big enough. So maybe she’s conflating feeling gross about the ring with feeling bad about Future Mother-In-Law, but the ring is apparently not a non-issue brought on by grief. Sounds like it’s been an issue since before she got it.

Post # 130
7 posts
  • Wedding: March 2016

Oh my… is this really happening?


Post # 131
13915 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m sorry for your loss. 

But, you got engaged last week, your Mother-In-Law passed away two days later, and you are wondering why people might be a bit subdued and acting as if “nobody cares about it?!?!” To state the obvious, it’s because people are focused on other things or they think it’s inappropriate to be in a celebratory spirit. Had your timing been different, maybe the reaction would actually have been more along the lines of what you imagined.

I assure you, under the circumstances, you are probably right that nobody is paying much attention to your ring. 

Had you posted that you feel guilty that you are a little sad your  “moment” has been overshadowed by tragedy, you would have gotten much different advice.  


Post # 132
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

I’m going to go ahead and close this now. I’m seeing some personal attacks on here, so I think it’s time to call it a day.

The topic ‘Underwhelmed by ring responses.’ is closed to new replies.

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