(Closed) Undr investigation for bullying at work. Stressed upset and dont know what to do

• saratiara2
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

I just want to add, OP I don’t think it sounds like you did anything wrong persay, but as a learning for the future, this woman clearly did not want to speak to you, and considering you weren’t actually her manager, I would have brought her mistakes up to her manage rinstead of her once things started to go downhill. That would have covered your butt a lot more. Good luck, and I hope it gets resolved quickly.

• fallbrideintn2015
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: October 2015

This is honestly a “she said, she said” situation so we really can’t advise. My advice, be looking for another job. You’ve only been at this one 10 months and you’re under investigation. Even if you are completely innocent, this doesn’t bode well for your future at this company.

• saratiara2
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

Steph77:  I know, and if it were me that would have been my “default” too. But sometimes you gotta cover your own ass, and once she started being snippy I would have just gone right over her head.

• gingerkitten
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

Steph77:  What a headache! I agree with PP that it should come out fine for you in the end. Try to relax, go to a spa this weekend for a relaxing facial, or take a bubble bath, have your SO rub your feet, etc. 

It sounds like it should come out in your favor, so remind yourself that there are some things you cannot control, so take care of yourself in the meantime!

• amanda1988
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: July 2016

Hey.. all I can say is this sounds like a nightmare.  I hope this comes up on your side.  I’d definitely keep those emails of her saying those things and making those mistakes on hand.  I might start thinking of all the other reasons you’ve had to correct her and compiling a list for them (let them know you are doing that NOW, not that you happen to have this list lying about) because you bleieve she was simply redirecting attention away from her on inadequacies by alleging you are a bully, when in fact all you did was let her know when she had made a mistake.

• Drizzle
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: June 2015

Steph77:  you were definitely damned if you did and damned if you didn’t on this one, I think you handled it as well as anyone could in the circumstances. She has been very manipulative. Massive sympathy from me, in your shoes I’d be really shaken, bullying is such a nasty accusation. 

On the positive: it sounds like you have got a fair bit of hard evidence whereas she only has her word and opinion; the errors and omissions that are coming to light after her departure back up your case; you sound sharp as a tack and I’m sure you will sort this. It’s just purgatory as company procedure grinds through the requisite gears. 

Make like Machievelli to get your colleagues on your side, keep a clear head and systematic approach, express disappointment over her complaint but never a more negative response towards the useless, vindictive cowbag. Most of all look after yourself, shame you can’t have a massive glass of wine but heigh-ho. 

• MrsChapman2015
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: September 2015

Steph77:  I had the same issue with a former coworker last year. I’d worked with her for the last 7 years and when she became buddy buddy with a new lady the drama started.  If I ever caught a mistake I would email just her or walk to her desk and show her. I would be as polite as possible. When she would seem to get upset about me saying something to her, I would say something like we all make mistakes sometimes it just takes another pair of eyes to catch it. Which she seemed fine with, it seemed to make her feel better about her error. I was in no way her supervisor but I was a work friend/coworker and we all have to work together. Plus working in law enforcement you can’t make mistakes like the ones she was making, it could cause someone to get hurt or even sued. But she filed a complaint against me then acted like it wasn’t her it was the other coworker who did it because she felt like I was acting like a boss. Well I was prepared, I had emailed conversations where I in no way was being bossy or talking down to her. They dropped the whole thing. Now that I’m not in that department anymore they see just how many mistakes those two make and how much drama they cause. Sometimes you really don’t have to do much. Let your character speak for itself. Good luck hun!

• Brook10
• 4 years ago

Steph77:  I’m so sorry, but bullying? In a professional environment? Ugh, I am so over that word and the people that use it. It’s just as childish as it sounds. 

I feel like I have been on both sides of the fence- both being in a more senior role and pulling someone aside and helping them see their errors as well as a senior employee pulling me aside, or going through my supervisor to point out errors. Personally, I prefer the private conversation the first time. If things don’t change or errors keep happening, that’s when I like to involve other people. I have to side with you on this, and I hope your fellow peers see it that way as well. 

Good luck and congrats on the Bebe!!

• Tisa85
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: October 2014

Steph77:  I really feel for you and hope that this gets resolved ASAP. I think j_jaye gave you solid advice re protecting yourself. 

When I start a new job, I expect people to point out my errors, it’s part of the training process really as long as people aren’t blunt/rude about it. I can understand why you decided not to go straight to the manager EVERY time because that would be underhanded and unecessary. In fact, I’ve had people who are senior to junior pull me up on stuff when I’m new and it wasn’t the end of the world. It certainly wasn’t bullying just normal life!

I agree that paper trails are the way to go but as you said you were told not to do that so the whole thing has been made impossible for you. The ‘no smoke without fire’ comment is unhelpful and just feeds on the paranoid bubble that girl has created. Obviously we’re just bees behind our screens with only your info to go on, but with what we know it sounds like she’s been unprofessional on many many levels. 

Sending you hugs OP, please keep us updated!

• peridot456
• 4 years ago

You know, if she is no longer even with the company, I would think they have little reason to rule on her side. She has no ability to continue to collect evidence. It all sounds like a big nothing from an over-sensitive poor performer. On top of that, the company needs to be very careful about the way they treat (and discipline) a pregnant employee. I’m not that familiar with UK employment law, but I believe pregnancy is covered under anti-discrimination protection.

Try to be extra nice to yourself while this is going on and do things that help you relax, whether that’s yoga, hanging out with supportive friends, a spa day, or just letting yourself be a little lazier than usual. Get lots of sleep. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!

• Tisa85
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: October 2014

Steph77:  Wow that’s fantastic news! So happy for you OP!!