Post # 16
If he is the right guy now, he will still be the right guy in two or three or four years when you are both finished school, and are settled into career building jobs. There is nothing wrong with seriously dating until that point.
I think the problem is our society doesn’t have an easy term for when you are more than dating, but not planning a wedding… You KNOW you’re more than just his girlfriend, but you aren’t quite ready to be his wife.
Post # 17
i could have written ohnatto’s comment myself. i second, third and fourth it!
Post # 18
If you are not 100% sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with; if you are not beyond excited about him asking you to be his wife and if you are not content with the way he is then I am sorry but he is not the man for you.
There are so many other people out there in this big wide world and it is time for you to move out, move on and be ready for when you meet the right man.
Settling and hoping either someone will change or that you can change them is a recipe for disaster – I know I’ve been there, done that and worn the T-shirt!
If you hang around, wait and see what happens you could find yourself in a divorce situation years down the line when you have finally accepted you cannot get someone to change and believe me divorce is hell.
I think that sometimes one needs to accept that some people, however loved by us, are in our lives to help us along on our journey, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to be the one by our side when we reach our destination.
Post # 19
- Wedding: June 2016 - Akron, OH
It’s not to say that I wouldn’t be excited to be engaged, I would love it! I’m just having some second thoughts, not about him specifically. I just need to know how to approach the subject without hurting his feelings. One of the other bees mentioned that I do want to change him, but that its not a bad thing, I just want him to grow with me. I would hate to end the relationship because he’s not growing at the same rate as I am. Not everyone is always on the same timeline as the other. I guess I’m seeking coping methods. It makes it difficult when you live together and you two are on different wavelengths as far as your future is concerned. Any ideas? I surely can’t be the only person to have gone through this. It sounds like in other situations when the bee chose to end the relationship, that it just wasn’t working out. We aren’t in a bad place in our relationship, but it has the potential to become that way if I can’t figure out a plan. Did anyone else talk to their guy and things got better? Or when was your guy combative and didn’t listen or understand? I know I can’t force someone to grow up, but how long do I wait around after we have the talk?
Post # 20
You may both still be in school, but at 24 your BF is no longer that young at this point. You may not want to hear this, but there is an excellent chance that he is what he is going to be. People don’t change that much from the time they are in their mid 20s and if they do, it’s usually because they are already very internally motivated.
Just because you two are not fighting, and you get along on a day to day basis, doesn’t mean it’s smart to invest years in a relationship that may not be right for you.
Contrary to what you are saying, you do seem to be having second thoughts about the viability of the relationship, were things to stay the same. More than likely, they will.
Post # 21
It sounds to me like you want to be engaged, but it doesn’t sound like you want a marriage. At least not yet.. My best friend recently called off her wedding and now she wishes the whole engagement never happened. Don’t rush into getting engaged unless you’re absolutely certain you want to marry this man.
Post # 22
+1000. Perfectly said re: what it means to accept a proposal.