(Closed) Uneasy feeling, tell me I'm not alone.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
3212 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If he is the right guy now, he will still be the right guy in two or three or four years when you are both finished school, and are settled into career building jobs. There is nothing wrong with seriously dating until that point. 

I think the problem is our society doesn’t have an easy term for when you are more than dating, but not planning a wedding… You KNOW you’re more than just his girlfriend, but you aren’t quite ready to be his wife. 

Post # 17
Member
44 posts
Newbee

i could have written ohnatto’s comment myself. i second, third and fourth it!

Post # 18
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

If you are not 100% sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with; if you are not beyond excited about him asking you to be his wife and if you are not content with the way he is then I am sorry but he is not the man for you.  

There are so many other people out there in this big wide world and it is time for you to move out, move on and be ready for when you meet the right man.

Settling and hoping either someone will change or that you can change them is a recipe for disaster – I know I’ve been there, done that and worn the T-shirt!

If you hang around, wait and see what happens you could find yourself in a divorce situation years down the line when you have finally accepted you cannot get someone to change and believe me divorce is hell.

I think that sometimes one needs to accept that some people, however loved by us, are in our lives to help us along on our journey, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to be the one by our side when we reach our destination.

Post # 20
Member
13613 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
rararachael:  You may both still be in school, but at 24 your BF is no longer that young at this point. You may not want to hear this, but there is an excellent chance that he is what  he is going to be.  People don’t change that much from the time they are in their mid 20s and if they do, it’s usually because they are already very internally motivated.

Just because you two are not fighting, and you get along on a day to day basis,  doesn’t mean it’s smart to invest years in a relationship that may not be right for you.

Contrary to what you are saying, you do seem to be having second thoughts about the viability of the relationship, were things to stay the same. More than likely, they will. 

Post # 21
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It sounds to me like you want to be engaged, but it doesn’t sound like you want a marriage.  At least not yet.. My best friend recently called off her wedding and now she wishes the whole engagement never happened. Don’t rush into getting engaged unless you’re absolutely certain you want to marry this man.   

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  FutureMrsJDH.
Post # 22
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

View original reply
Unfathomably:  +1000. Perfectly said re: what it means to accept a proposal.

The topic ‘Uneasy feeling, tell me I'm not alone.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors