- 11 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I have been following Weddingbee for the past year, and I started to get involved in the board just recently. I know that the hive is full of the most understanding people out there, and I figured it is okay to let off some steam on here. This might be a tad long…
I graduated from college last year in May 2008 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration (concentration in Management) and a minor in History. For a good 6 months I was on the look out for a job. At first I only looked at positions in HR (what I was interested in at the time), and after a month I got desperate and looked for any jobs that I was qualified for. I had a good amount of interviews, and I also had rejections that followed each one. What was I doing wrong? I couldn’t even get jobs that people normally get with no college eductaion. It didn’t make sense to me.
My breaking point happened while attending a job fair. I waited 2 hours in line to see a professional and get my resume reviewed. I noticed that it took 10-15 minutes for each person to get critiqued. By the time it was my turn I was ready for the worst. I wanted her to tear up my resume. I spent no more than 5 minutes with her, and she said that my resume looked great. I only had to make some minor adjustments (ex. use numbers instead of writing them out), and she noted that my experience was solid. I broke down. I wanted her to tell me that it was horrible, and then I could blame the resume for everything.
I did find a small office job in a law firm that only lasted three weeks. The position had a high turnover rate. The person who trained me had worked there for a week. It wasn’t a pretty job, but I made it work for me. It made me feel miserable though, and I couldn’t waste my talent in a position that would get me no where. It did give me the boost of confidence to go out and find a better job.
Unfortunately I have been hit so many times with disappointment since then that I just gave up. I am mentally beat up from this process, and I don’t want to try anymore. Opportunities have come my way and fallen through each time. Each rejection has ripped my heart into pieces, and I just can’t take it anymore. I lost hope, confidence, faith, and myself through this process. I am tired of people telling me what I am doing wrong. I looked in every direction that they told me to. I applied for the jobs that they suggest, and they don’t understand how gruelsome it is out there. It is difficult to understand how this process of unemployment can mentally and emotionally affect someone unless you have gone through it yourself. I never thought it would be this difficult and hurt this much.
So here I am today. I have been engaged for over a year. I don’t have any direction. I’m afraid that this wedding will never happen because we cannot afford it on just my FI’s income. I want to get back the confidence that I had when I first started looking for jobs. I want to get back up, but I’m afraid that I have dug myself down too deep.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.