Post # 1
Anyone else grappling with this? My fiance is part of a big group of very close male friends, and is struggling to keep his number of groomsmen down to 7. I have 3 female relatives I could ask to be bridesmaids, but I don’t have close female friends currently that I would want to ask to be part of my bridal party (I have drifted apart from a lot of my childhood and school female friends, and don’t want to burden the ones who are dealing with personal or family health issues). I’m way closer to my 4 best (almost all gay) male friends than I am to any of my female friends. If I include my male friends in my bridal party I can easily have 7 on my side of the bridal party, but my fiance isn’t thrilled with the idea of “bridesmen.” I’ve offered having unequal bridal parties as an alternative, but he strongly prefers equal numbers. The only other solution would be to include some of his female friends, but I don’t think it’s really fair for all of the groomsmen and a significant number of the bridesmaids to be from his side. What are you doing if you and your fiance have different preferences for bridesmaids/bridesmen/groomsmen?
Post # 2
I dont think it’s right to have people in your bridal party for the sake of numbers. you may look back and regret having someone in your party that you may not even be close with anymore.
I say stick to the uneven number and if your Fiance doesnt like it than he can agree to having bridesmen.
Post # 3
I was a bridesamaid in a wedding with uneven numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen. The bridesamaids each had two groomsmen walking down the aisle with her – it was great (a guy on each arm!) and no one thought anything of it. It was a very lovely, upscale wedding and it turned out beautifully.
I can’t speak to having male bridesmen…one of my gay friends will be officiating our wedding, and others will maybe do a reading during the ceremony. If your Fiance objects to them being bridesmen on your side, maybe you can include them in other ways like reading a poem or something.
Post # 4
Yeah, that’s a big problem. If you don’t have an even number, you won’t really be married.
Who cares? Do what you want – I had two women and one man on my side, my Fiance had 2 women (he had a guy too, but he ended up marrying us). I’m not a fan of this “bridesmen” “groomswomen” thing, its stupid. I just called them all the wedding party.
Post # 5
I absolutely would not include his friends just to even it up- these are the people that will surround you that day and you will REALLY want them all to be close friends. We had one extra bridesmaid, so we had the groomsmen preset by the altar before the ceremony (a lot of people do that) and had just the bridesmaids walk down for the processional (without groomsmen). For the recessional, we just ended up doubling up two bridesmaids with one groomsmen and it was totally fine. For sake of wedding photos, uneven numbers absolutely do not matter.
Post # 6
raspberrybidet : I think your bridal or wedding party should truly be your closest friends or family members, some have 10 some have 2 it doesn’t matter but don’t have his female friends just to make numbers even.
These day I find so many wedding have uneven parties and no one cares or notices, I am having 7 girls and my Fiance is having 6.
Post # 7
Having equal sides is a really silly reason to ask people to be in your wedding. It should be those people who mean a lot to you and you couldn’t think of not having them stand by your side on your big day.
First I think you need to decide what YOU really want. This is your bridal party we’re talking about. Do you honestly just want to have the 3 relatives? Or would it mean a lot to you to have your guy friends standing by you? Once you figure out what YOU want, then you need to talk to your Fiance. IMO, he’s being unreasonable. It’s not fair for him to have ALL the say in the wedding party.
Post # 8
They are people, not props. Have your closest friends. The sides don’t have to be even and as far as I’m concerned they shouldn’t be if it’s for the sake of appearance and photos.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
Darling Husband and I originally had five and five.
For a LOT of reasons I don’t want to get into, we wound up with four groomsmen and three bridesmaids. This happened with more than enough time to ‘replace’ them and keep even numbers…but it just didn’t feel ‘right’ to add people for the sake of that.
PS: I see nothing wrong with ‘bridesmen’ or ‘groomswomen’!
Post # 10
We had an uneven wedding party and a groomswoman. We both just asked who we wanted regardless of gender or numbers. The most important thing was having those closest to us be a part of our wedding.
I would talk to your Fiance again and remind him that people are more important than symmetry. No one should be asked just to fill spots and no one should be left out just so sides are even.
Post # 11
Me! I have 7 bridesmaids and a bridesman. My fiance has 12 groomsmen!
Post # 12
Genderized bridal parties are only a thing because women were once not free to have friendships with men. Back in the bad old days when men retired to another room after dinner to drink and smoke cigars while the women did, I dunno, crochet or something, in another room. Screw that noise. Your closest friends should be standing up for you, the fact that they’re male should have no bearing on that.
Post # 13
- Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion
I don’t think it’s weird to have an uneven number or to have a coed bridal party. However, I think 7 and 3 would look strange. If your Fiance is insisting on having 7 guys on his side, he should be OK with you having groomsmen. See if you can get it down to 5 on his side and 4 on yours (or something). Seven groomsmen just seems excessive in general, and I think it will draw attention to you only having three on your side. As a guest, I would think 7/3 was weird. Just being honest!
Post # 14
In all honesty, I sorta agree with PP in that, I’d be looking at your groom and thinking HE was being excessive with 7, not that you have a measley number, with “just” 3. If he really can’t cut his side down to 5, then he should be ok with you having male friends. This is his issue to compromise on, not yours.
I have 5 in my wedding party (including a man of honour and a maid of honour) and Fiance has 7 on his side, including 2 female groomswomen.
Post # 15
Have your close female relatives and if your closest friends are male, then them as well. If he doesn’t want any groomswomen on his side, he doesn’t have to have them, but he really has no place telling you what to do.