Uneven bridal parties and bridesmen

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I think it’s different with every couple and different friendship groups… my fiance is having 3 groomsmen, and I am just having my Maid/Matron of Honor. No one who knows us is surprised by this, and I could easily have more people to even the numbers up… but I don’t want to (plus it’s so much easier and cheaper with less girls- less for hair and make up, flowers, jewellery…).

It’s honestly completely up to you 🙂

Post # 17
1890 posts
Buzzing bee

I think what’s most important is having the people you love around you on your wedding day. If that means uneven numbers or bridesmen (I had both!), who cares. It’s not right of your Fiance to ask you to exclude very dear friends from your wedding because of an aesthetic preference.

Post # 18
2658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I have 4 on my side (a Maid/Matron of Honor, 2 bridesmaids and a junior bridesmaid) and my Fiance has 3 (all groomsmen, he didn’t want to choose between them for a best man). He was a little resistant at first, wanting the sides to be even, but I just kept telling him that I only care about the people not the numbers.

I am kind of with PPs though that your 3 to his 7 may look a little odd – but I completely agree that I would look at him as being excessive. If he can’t get his numbers down to 4 or 5, I would tell him that he needs to be okay with you having male attendants. I don’t see what the big deal is with opposite gender attendants anyway (we aren’t having any, but if I had brothers who were old enough or my best friend was male you can bet I’d want them to stand up with me).

Post # 19
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

raspberrybidet :  I believe in just asking the people who you feel are right.  Bridesmen – great.  Uneven numbers – great.  Asking several of his friends who you don’t want as BMs – bad.

I don’t think that your Fiance is really thinking through what he’s asking you to do.  Number one, asking 4 people to be your bridesmaids esentially for esthetics (let’s be honestly, equal numbers is really just esthetis) is icky.  Second of all, having 7 bridesmaids is drama city in the best of situations…nevermind when 4 of them are not even your nearest and dearest!  It will more than likely put a huge strain on the whole wedding planning process for both of you.

If he insists on equal numbers I think he has to cut his group down.  You’ve been more than flexible by offering to include your best male friends or stick with unequal numbers.

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