Post # 1
I’ve read the many posts on who pays for bm’s hair and makeup the day of the wedding…..but my question is of equality/fairness. I’m Maid/Matron of Honor in my sister’s wedding, and the situation is that because of my financial circumstances, I’m the only one being asked to pay for my own hair and makeup. She knows her other 3 bm’s can’t afford it, but technically I can, so she’s asked me to cover mine, and she plans to cover theirs. (She’s pre-paying for a group package.)
What does everyone think? It intially rubbed me the wrong way, just because it isn’t equal. But on the other hand, it’s true they can’t afford it and my sister is out of money, so she’s desperate to save a penny anywhere. But as Maid/Matron of Honor, I already have paid way more than the other bm’s who paid nothing towards her bachelorette party. (But that was okay with me.)
Also….I’m hesitant to express my unhappiness at the unfairness of the cost being asked of me and no other bm, because my wedding is a year from now, and if I don’t pay for my own hair and makeup now, I guess I’d have to cover hers at my wedding, huh?
Post # 3
I understand why it rubbed you the wrong way. I probably would have been too but if you’re in the place to be able to afford it I would just throw in the white flag on this one and pay.
Post # 4
Its your sister try and be understanding. She is probably asking you to pay for your own because you are more aware of her financial situation and she probably doesn’t think you will judge her as the others may.
Post # 5
Id be a little annoyed that you’re the only one expected to pay for yourself, but just mentally file it away and you’ll be happy yo don’t have to pay for her hair when you’re paying out all your own wedding expenses.
Post # 6
Yeah….. I think she probably feels like she can trust you to know her financial situation without judgement and every spare penny at this point helps. Would I be annoyed? Maybe because it is an exspense I wasn’t planning on but it is hardly worth it to cause stress between the two of you
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. Those are some good points.
I maybe should have mentioned that 2 of the 3 bridesmaids are our other sisters. They’re in college and can’t really afford this expensive destination wedding. However, that’s a huge reason for my sister not to REQUIRE hair and makeup done, and give us all the option of doing it ourselves, right? I think I’ll subscribe to that line of thinking for my own wedding.
I guess the main thing to take away is that I’m not actually paying any extra money, since she will be obligated to pay for her own hair and makeup a year from now. I hadn’t decided what I was doing in that arena, but I guess if I pay for some girls who can’t afford it, my sister who’s getting married now will def. be expected to pay for her own then. So it all evens out, and I prob. shouldn’t bring up an grumbles right now. (Even if it was rude for her to spring a last-minute cost on me, and only me!)
Post # 8
@RunningHusky: I think you’ve come to the right decision. Totally legit grumble, but also if you can afford to go with the flow, do it out of sisterly charity and graciousness. (And if you need to, knock a little bit off the gift you’re getting her.)
Post # 9
@RunningHusky: I like that you are learning from her wedding for your wedding. I think thats be best aproach you can take.