(Closed) Uneven guest list drama… from my mama

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would just explain to her that you think the most fair way to allocate invites is in regards to relationship rather than number. So, ALL aunts/uncles, ALL cousins (if applicable), no one more distant than that. Then if there are going to be friends or whatever maybe you get an equal number of “discretionary” invites after the family that absolutely must be invited?


Post # 4
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t understand WHY parents get like this…  I mean ya’ll really get the “same” people invited…

1st Aunts and Uncles on both sides!

My Fiance and I are the same…. only he has EVEN MORE (like 16 w/o spouses) and from both sides of my family I have 2 Uncles (lol)

We ultimately cut to immediate family only b/c Fiance and I (who are paying) couldn’t accomodate that many…. BUT even before that my parents were fine.

Are you parents paying for the wedding? or are you and your SO?

I say you need to suck it up, put your foot down, and tell your mom that if she wants to invited 2nd, 3rd, 4th Aunts, Uncles, and cousins then ya’ll gotta do the same on the other side.

If she’s paying the tab then she can have ALL that she wants.. if not then ya’ll are sticking to 1st’s and that that!

Post # 7
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with your mom, I think the guest lists should be more or less even.  Donno who is paying but if she is helping out then she should be able to invite as many as your Fiance does.  If you are paying than you do whatever you want.  If I was paying for a wedding and the majority of the guests were not mine, I would be mad too.

Post # 8
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh I understand

We got help from all sides, but I think parents should let their children delegate their own weddings.

My mom is pro-elopement b/c she thinks it’s CRAZY how parents get all “butt hurt” about not getting what/who they want…

sigh… lol

sorry you’re dealing with this… it WILL soon be over… and you and your FH can get to the real deal lol


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