(Closed) Uneven ratio of family from bride / groom side attending wedding

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@katkat123:  Why doesn’t your dad want to invite anyone from his side? No offense, but it’s your day. You should be able to invite them. Go ahead and invite family from out of the country. You never know, some might surprise you and come 🙂 I think your parents are being ridiculous. 

Post # 4
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think you need to invite them. even if they say no- at least they know they were included

Post # 5
23 posts
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would personally send out the invites as they have to make the decisions themselves not your parents opinions of whether they can make it or not.


Post # 6
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

he Old Saying goes… “He WHO PAYS… GETS THE SAY”

If you & your Finacé are Hosting this Wedding, then you can certainly decide WHO to Invite.

Proper etiquette would say you invite Relatives that you think might not come… just to let them know you are thinking of them.

It is not up to you to pre-decide if they can or cannot… that is up to them to choose.

So your Mother is off-base.

Not sure what is up with your Dad.

Beyond all that…

Ya sometimes when one side lives farther away than the other’s, numbers can be very much lob-sided.

When I got married the first time (circa 1980)

It was in my hometown where I grew up, and my Parents & many Relatives continued to live

My Groom was from out of State / Province… his family right across the country.

Needless to say hardly anyone came for our Wedding (just immediate family)

BUT we did the right thing… and did send out Invites to Every.single.Aunt.and.Uncle

In the end, we utilized a B-List to round out / round up the numbers with more Friends etc, and it was great.

Hope this helps,

PS… I have to ask, based on your post it “feels like” your Parent’s aren’t all that excited / jazzed for your Wedding… almost as if they are drawing a line between US and THEM when it comes to your Inlaws.  Is this true… or is it just a case of your Parents not being very social (as you said) so they don’t see why anyone else would be / should be.


Post # 7
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

About 3 times as many of my FI’s family will be attending than mine.  I see nothing wrong with it, if they can come, great!  If not, that’s ok too!

Post # 8
426 posts
Helper bee

my wedding invites will include possibly 10 family members from my side and about 60 from hers and the rest friends from college/hs/work.

her family is huge with lots of cousins, while mine is just aunts/siblings/parents/grandparents. For me, this is going to be a sore point, not because I want a lot of people on “my side” but I don’t want all of her family invited because some of them didn’t support our relationship in the beginning (we’re interracial-they didn’t hate me, but some of her family wanted her to find someone from her own culture.) and some of her friends that she is inviting have changed so much that they’re not as good of friends as they once were. So in my mind, I’m like why even invite them.

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