Post # 1
Whenever we talk about who will be in our wedding party my bf always rattles off a ton of names. They are all friends and family, but it feels like it is literally everyone who has ever been his friend. I tend to think that someone who hasn’t really been in your life for the past couple years shouldn’t be included, even if they were a good friend at some point. He argues that he has to include all of his friends or the left out ones will have hurt feelings. Maybe I’m just too picky, but I feel like being included in someone’s wedding day is special and is reserved for special relationships. So I refuse to add bridesmaids just for the sake of matching numbers. Do you think uneven wedding parties look odd? Does anyone else have experience with this?
Post # 2
One of my friends had more groomsmen than bridesmaids. The bridesmaids ended up having two groomsmen walking us donw the aisle – lots of fun and no one thought anything of it, and the wedding was beautiful.
One option if you are concerned about uneven numbers is to have some people do something else rather than being part of the wedding party, like doing a reading during the ceremony.
Honestly, I doubt anyone really cares about even or odd numbers of the wedding party! People make far too much out of most wedding planning.
Post # 3
cjm18 : I’m in the minority here. I prefer even numbers that there is one Bridesmaid or Best Man per one Groomsmen. I think it’s more of an aesthetic thing for me so I would have to carefully choose my wedding party in case we run into this issue. I am aware that most people will find my reason shallow which I perfectly understand but that’s just me. However, majority of people wouldn not care and want those closest to them by their side even if there are like 7 GM’s and 3 BM’s. My personal experience when attending weddings with uneven parties, the groom tends to include more GM’s than the other way around.
Post # 4
We’re having 8 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen. There are more women in our families (we both have sisters that I want to include as bridesmaids) and my Fiance has 6 guys that he wants to stand with him. We both have the people who are important to us standing with us, which is what’s important!
As for your situation, I think an uneven number is fine – like you said, you don’t want to add bridesmaids just to be fillers!
Post # 5
Aren’t the last two poll questions the same?
Anyway, I don’t think it matters at all. Even numbers or not, you should only ask people to stand next to you if you truly want them there.
Post # 6
socalgirl1689 : I selfishly think the same thing! I just think it looks more pleasing to the eye and in pictures.
llevinso : I meant the last poll question to be more like “no one cares either way”
Post # 7
It looks nicer to have matching numbers, but I wouldn’t care either way. 🙂 You do you.
Post # 8
I prefer uneven in most cases, because I think adding people just to add people is silly.
I also don’t think that even always looks better. If you think about design, most ‘eye pleasing’ things are in odd numbers. Its a very common design concept.
But I wouldn’t care either way if you both ‘happened’ to have 5 people you wanted. Again, I wouldn’t add someone to be uneven lol.
Post # 9
I believe in asking people for the right reasons, not just to make up numbers. That also means Bridesmen, and Groomsmaids. So uneven numbers mean zilch to me.
I could be wrong but I think there are fewer guys who really think it is fun to dress up in a tux or formal suit, and stand still for a few hours; than there are girls who want the Bridesmaid experience. I hope your Fiance will take note if he gets any lukewarm responses to the Groomsmen requests!
Post # 10
cjm18 : I was in the same boat when we were deciding who was going to be in our wedding party! I knew my 8 girls (my 3 sisters and 5 closest friends), but my Fiance kept wanting to add more and more people. Originally he settled on 8 (my brother, his brother, and 6 of his friends), but then he really wanted to add one more friend, which I was fine with. Then he didn’t know where to draw the line and eventually his list was up to 11! One of his other friends convinced him not to ask those other 2 people for a number of reasons (unreliable, history of drug problems, they haven’t been close in years, drama with other groomsmen), and he agreed that it would probably be best if they were guests and not involved in everything else.
Long story short, I have 8 and he has 9, but I’m fine with it! For the ceremony we will just have my Maid/Matron of Honor walk with both of our brothers, and I’m not worried about pictures looking uneven. As long as you have your closest people with you, it shouldn’t matter.
Post # 11
I agree with DanaWeddingGuest you should ask people to be I’m your wedding because they are your nearest and dearest, regardless of numbers or gender. We had an uneven wedding party and a groomswoman and our wedding pictures are perfect because they include the people we love most.
Post # 12
blueyedrunner : 8 and 9 isn’t bad at all. I’m just afraid it’s going to end up being more like 7 and 13!
And I do want to throw out there that another concern is that I hate giant bridal parties. Any of the big bridal parties I’ve been in have been a mess with chaos and little cooperation (at least from the groomsmen) I just think smaller works better and is less stressful.
Post # 13
cjm18 : yeah I hear you. If he has almost double the people, that can be kind of odd. Hopefully you can come to some kind of agreement about who should be in the party. I had to drill in to my FI’s head that just because you were close with them at some point in your life, it doesn’t mean they have to be standing next to you at the altar. It doesn’t mean they aren’t important to you, or can’t be included in bachelor party and other festivities, but you have to draw a line somewhere! I was extremely close with a group of girls in college, but I stayed close with only one that is a bridesmaid. The rest are all invited of course, but I didn’t want to have a massive number either. Good luck!
Post # 14
It sounds like he is going crazy with the potential invites, and that is the real problem. Could you both cut down considerably, such as having just 3 each, or just a maid of honor and best man? That might help him think about who is really closest to him, rather than him wanting to invite “everyone who has ever been his friend”.
Post # 15
Uneven sides are fine, but… 13 groomsmen?? That’s ridiculous! you’d need like 3 cars just for the men! I think he is really overestimating how much people want/expect to be a Groomsmen. It probably hadn’t even occurred to half the people he’s listed that he would ask them. Someone who hasn’t been in his life for a few years is not going to have hurt feelings about it. You don’t have to ask literally all your friends! I’d try to explain this and get him to narrow it down to his BEST friends because that sounds like a logistical nightmare. How many people are you inviting to the wedding?