(Closed) Unexpected pregnancy? How did you manage

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I think I said on the other thread that the cost of childcare will probably make or break you.

– Some women can’t afford not to work.

– Some women (especially in places where childcare costs are very high) can’t afford TO work, because they would be earning less than they pay in childcare.

The next thing which will make or break you is having supportive family members who live nearby and are willing to help you out a day or two a week.

The third thing is budgeting and getting lots of second hand things. Make a list of what you really need as opposed to want. For example, it’s much cheaper and safer to change a baby on a wipe down mat on the floor, than to use a changing table. There are comparatively few things that you really need, but you can write out a budget for them.

Post # 3
560 posts
Busy bee

Like Rachel said, one of you may have to just stay home based off of who has the lower income and just go with necessities. If you are able to breastfeed that would be a great way to save money…babies can sustain themselves on breastmilk alone for about a year.

Also, the one who is working might have to get a second job, or work opposite shifts so that someone can always be home with the baby…get those second jobs now to save up money. My SO and I are pretty financially stable but I was still picking up every after school activity/tutoring session I could get my hands on so we could get some money saved up for when the baby arrived. It sucks, and many days I was so exhausted and sick the last thing I wanted to do was work more, but it was able to help us be more prepared in the long run.

Post # 4
709 posts
Busy bee

Faith123:  Not sure if that has been mentioned on the previous thread. But: If you plan on having a baby soon, can you set some money aside each month already? there will be so many expenses coming up, so maybe you can already prepare somewhat? <br />Maybe it helps to have a critical look at your current budget as well: are there some expenses that can be reduced  (in order to “free” some baby-money)? what do you guys have planned career wise? is it possible to move up the career ladder to make more? or is it possible to work in a different field and make more? All the best for you and your Darling Husband ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

This thread is odd. It sounds like you’re planning to have an unexpected pregnancy.

Post # 6
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Faith123:  Well I spent the first day freaking out completely (we found out we’re having twins), then when I got my wits back, I started calling our insurance company to see what was covered, our max out of pocket, etc.  Once I had those numbers, it was a lot easier to budget.  Fortunately, I was already a Stay-At-Home Wife, so it was a no brainer that I’d be a Stay-At-Home Mom (I have an ECE background and preschool experience).  Since my husband and I had already purchased a home with two extra bedrooms, we didn’t need to move because we were fine on space (just had to rearrange a few things).  Plus, we’ve maintained about 8-10 months of emergency savings, so knowing that this would definitely cover our max out of pocket if all of our other funds were depleted has been somewhat of a comfort (although we would use what’s in our spendable savings before touching that).  We’ve also had a lot of help from friends and family (baby shower) and saved a few bucks by making our own hats, blankets, etc.  So far it seems like things are working out for us. 

Since you aren’t pregnant yet and still have time, I would recommend that you try and budget to live off one income while the other goes to savings.  That way, when your baby does arrive, you’ll have a decent amount put away and be able to stay home with your child or use the other income for childcare.  Best of luck!

Post # 7
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Cory_loves_this_girl:  agreed

OP are you just looking for reassurance that you could start trying without having everything planned?

ive known people that planned and people that were suprised by a new addition. There is no way to say it will work out for the better until you look at your options that work for you two as a couple. There are a lot of things to work through to understand how finically a kid will impact you that the internet cant tell you. Everyone has a different way to make it work and you need to find yours and start looking at where you can save, what you need and how things will change. I have yet to see a consitent comment on the other thread other than budget it out and see how you sit finacially.  

Post # 8
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Darling Husband and I were young (24 and 21, respectively) when I got pregnant. We were also in a LDR. I was working part-time in retail and he was in school… I was also supporting my mother and my younger sister who both refused to work and/or do ANYTHING with their lives other than smoke pot and drink coffee all day. I was scared, but I picked up more shifts at work and after our Dirty Delete was born, I went back to work within 3 months instead of taking my full year of maternity leave. I scrimped and saved every penny I could, but I made it by myself for 9 months before Darling Husband was finished school and we moved in together.

Post # 11
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - old cheese factory

Faith123:  my husband and i ended up getting pregnant 8months after our first date. at this point we were already looking at houses to buy (husband is a penny pincher and saved while going to college… he was one of those lucky kids who had enough scholarships to pay for 90% of his schooling) He works a better paying job in our area (around double what min wage is) so i became a Stay-At-Home Mom. We make it from month to month but it is tight alot of the time. we arent able to go out to eat, go to the movies, i cant get my hair done, all those extra things you get used to being able to do every so often. But we did make it enough to buy a nice home, buy me a nicer/bigger car, and still afford to buy groceries without state/gov. help.


you will find places to skim money when you have a child. buy used, breast feed if you can, cloth diapers so you dont have to buy diapers all the time. we are working on our second child… (hasnt happened yet ๐Ÿ™  ) but we saved everything from our first kid (now 2 1/2 years old) so we can reuse it/sell it if we have a girl. idk if in your area you have any facebook sale pages, but in my area we have some facebook pages where moms sell all their used baby/kid stuff. its like craigslist, but you can kinda check out the person before meeting by looking at their facebook page. it has come in handy for me. <br /><br />long story short, it is true, you will never be financially ready for kids. BUT you will find a way to survive.

Post # 13
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

One of my best friends had an unexpected pregnancy. She very much wants to be a mother some day. She and her then-FI talked about it a lot, worked the numbers, discussed the time that would be taken off from work, discussed where they were in their careers and the health costs … and decided to wait to have children. For them, it was a really good decision. Not saying it would be right for you, but just never forget that you don’t have to feel freaked out/trapped if everything is just NOT going to happen financially at a particular time. Something to consider.

Post # 14
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We just don’t go out to eat much or spend money on things used to.  My son was unexpected and we manage just fine.  Things I used to purchase for myself say like new clothes/cute shoes on a whim are now more planned saved. 

Purchase clothing/toys gentlely used instead of new.  Don’t go overboard on buying all kinds of not really needed things for the baby. 

I hit garage sales to consignment shops for his clothing to toys. 


Post # 15
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

my pregnancy was planned but my hubs and I had come to the conclusion that there will never be enough money. We went ahead and trued for a baby. We have a clean and decent 3 bdrm house that we rent, We do just five paying bills, very little debt left from wedding. Hubs and I did manage to pay all other debts before TTC but we had nothing saved. We knew we could moat likely manage buying the necesites (crib, diapers, clothing, childcare)if we made some sacrifices like budgeting, eating at home, no more Starbucks and weekend outings with friends and athough I think parents shouldn’t rely on others, I do have lota of family and most importantly FAITH that it would all work out, God wouldn’t give me anything I can’t handle right?

Well, we ended up concieving twins…yikes!!! But here we are 8 weeks in. We can’t afford to pay for the cost of child care for both, and I have to go back to work soon, however my mom has decided to go on hiatus from her career and stay home with the babies until they are a little older. We did just fine getting the necessities on our own but Wouldn’t have been able to get all those life saver things like swings, pack n plays, monitors, double pump, etc if not for the amazing generosity from our family and friends. 

we never expected to end up with so much help, but it just worked out and I strongly believe even without all the help we dis help we would have been blessed in ither ways to help us though. 

If we had waited for some idea of ideal preparedness, I doubt we would ever have become parents. I’m so happy with my boys, they are worth every single sacrifice we’ve made for them, and we are so grateful for all the help. 

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