(Closed) UNgrateful Bridesmaids

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow. Youre right she never should have said that to you especially infront of the other BMs.  I would have a chat with her and tell her whats on your mind.  You don’t want her attitude to ruin your day.  I asked my girls what they would like to receive or even ideas.  My girls are spending a lot of my wedding as well (2 nights in hotel rooms, dress, travel, bachelorette)  I was going to pay to have their hair and makeup professionally done.  I have two friends that do hair and makeup for a living and they will give me a great rate coming out to $55 for each girl.  I feel like I should do more but I am not sure what; not even if I should do more.  My mom says $50 spend on each girl is generous.  I think it also has to do with your budget and how much you really can afford as a thank you.

Post # 4
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@rubianbeauty11:  

“…one of the bridesmaids wanted to know what I was giving them as a gift.”

That is not “ungrateful”, that is straight TACKY. My advice is to dump the offending parties, sister or not. That is beyond trashy.

Post # 5
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@rubianbeauty11:  awww, your sister is being a jerk!  Is she young and immature?  Maybe she just doesn’t know how to be polite

Post # 6
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@rubianbeauty11:  wow.. I’m sorry your sister was or is acting like that.. That was rude of her to say.. Normally when you do things for someone, you are doing it from the kindness of your heart and not doing it to expect something back later.. If that’s the case, especially being your sister, she should have done the things for you because you are her sister and she loves you, not because she has to.. You don’t have to spend all that money on her gift that she spent on you.. If it were me, a thank you so much for throwing me a shower or doing this for me would have been enough” I wouldn’t expect anything more.

Post # 7
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@rubianbeauty11:  Awe, I’m so sorry to hear your sister is making things so stressful for you!  I have had a little bit of Bridesmaid or Best Man drama myself, (different than yours though) but I can somewhat relate in that it honestly adds sooo much stress.  From the sound of it, you’ve made every effort to be fair and reasonable with your girls.  I would definitely be upset too if I was in your position, and your sister seems quite immature to say that in response to your gift.  HUGS!!!

Post # 8
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@rubianbeauty11:  hisssssss! That’s nasty! Give her a metaphorical “take your party and shove it!” I would just pay for the hair and makeup and not get them gifts.

Post # 9
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves

Wow, and I thought I had bad bridesmaids. The best thing would be to a) ignore her, and b) maybe ask her to step down from the bridal party because you don’t need, and I repeat DON’T NEED, that kind of rudeness and negativity.

Have you talked to her? told her you didn’t ask for them to spend that much money and how you are paying for a wedding and can’t afford to pay for their makeup, especially if you’re being forced into it?

I am so sorry, she is being very rude.

Post # 10
Member
2213 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s really awful.  I’m sorry she said that to you.

Maybe she doesn’t realize that the things she’s done for you; shower, bachelorette, etc. are GIFTS from her, and from the Bridal Party (if they were financially involved).  Traditionally, you would not be able to control costs for those parties, since you had no part of the planning process:  only she could.  She gave you those gifts and it’s very rude to try to dictate your return gift to her and the rest of the Bridal Party.

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