(Closed) unhappy with our sex, please help

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

Please go and buy the book Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch.  It is an amazing book for couples, written by a sex therapist.  It’s got stories of real couples and what he did with them in therapy, but it also has a lot of theory, etc. about intimacy, sex, love, marriage, and more.  There’s a big difference between couples therapy and sex therapy, and I think that could be why therapy was ineffective for you.  Also, it’s hard to find a good therapist, I hear so many stories from my clients, it’s disturbing.  Anyways, this book is outstanding, please go to amazon and buy it straight away!

Post # 4
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow. First off that sucks that it seems to be such a distressing point for u. I suffer from a dissorder that makes it very painful/difficalt for my Fiance and I do have sex. I has effected me sex drive A LOT. We used to go at it like rabbits and then one day a few months after having my son we were having sex and it just kinda clamped down and forced him out. I’ve talked to my Gyno and he just kinda says there isn’t anythign to do about it. It’s hurt my sexual ego very deeply. but when we can manage to have sex I think I helps to drop hints all day. I get extra touchy, and txt him that i can’t wait for him to get home and things like that. it helps me get into it as well as getting him riled up. I also thing that, this may seem stupid, but taking a shower together gets us more into it too. sometimes we barely make it out of the bathroom. I’m not possitive that any of this will help you but maybe if u show a really stong interest in him he’ll reciprocate. if nothing else tell him that sex is important part of ur relationship and u feel like it’s being neglected. u don’t even have to be sex! but something that makes u feel loved in that kind of way. I hope that his helped at least a little bit. Good Luck Hun!

Post # 5
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would totally try and tease him and withhold… I know, its awful right… Just like… get him drunk and tease him, then leave him hanging… maybe after a couple times he’ll just unleash the beast and you’ll be on a whole nother sexual level. A girl can dream, hm? I too feel like I want sex more than my FH… but its been getting better since I’ve tried harder to be a little more aggressive and confident… good luck to you… I hope you figure it out… 

Post # 6
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Have you ever asked him why he jackurbates when you are not home?  For some men, it’s easier to jackurbate than to please a woman.  Having sex involves work and some men would rather not be bothered unfortunately.  I think in some cases it boils down to laziness.  I second the suggestion to purchase that book.  I’ve heard good things about it.

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I also sometimes like to tease him. I will sometimes tell him things jokingly that someone said to me in the day or noticed about me. And he feels that other men are lusting after me and he really needs to ‘mark his territory’ so he’ll have some crazy, rough sex. Though this can only work in your favour if your S.O is self-confident.

Post # 8
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@Sasha2011:

That sounds HOT!!!

Post # 9
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Try different sex games, positions, ect… see if that works 🙂

Post # 10
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Did everything work out?

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