(Closed) Unhealthy Obsession With Weight. So Insecure

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

S Factor (http://www.sfactor.com) has been the best thing in my entire life for repairing my negative body image thoughts! They don’t have a studio in Sacramento but they do workshops there so you should be able to find some local events. I am “normal” weight and I LOVE my body now.

Post # 4
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You have a BMI of 20.9, which is within the normal range (normal range is 18.5-24.9). So really, you ARE at a healthy weight. If you can’t stop obsessing, I would see a doctor or a counselor.

Post # 5
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Seems as though you have some body image distortion.  I had an eating disorder at one point (though I’m not saying that you do–at all) and I received some really good counseling and have a much better body image now, though I still become obsessive at times…. and that was in the Sacramento area 🙂

Post # 6
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Ok first of all, I’m shorter than you and a weigh more than you and I’m hardly whale-like. You’ll also find that your BMI sounds like in a completely normal range based on your height and weight.

Not everyone is made to be skinny. What is important is that you are healthy. You need to look past the numbers on the scale and let go of the image of when you were 17, 16, 15, etc.

You may want to reach out to a counselor to get past this image of yourself and see yourself in a more positive way.

Post # 7
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Osaka, some of what you wrote sends red flags to me, “I don’t want to be a normal weight…I want to be skinny”

I would seek the advice of a professional with this one regarding your thoughts towards your body image.

Post # 8
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with PPs that I think counseling is in order.  It seems like you’ve moved beyond “feeling fat” or whatever or wishing you could drop a little weight.  Your comment about “not wanting to be a normal size, but wanting to be skinny” also worries me.

I’ve had several friends with ED (one who was hospitalized) and although I’m not saying that’s what you have, it takes counseling to work on those feelings/image issues.

Post # 10
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have the same kind of thoughts some times.  I feel like other people carry weight better than I do.  They are plump and cute and somehow I am all lumpy.  It bothers me, but I am working on not caring as much and trying to be healthy rather than skinny.

Post # 11
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I used to have serious body issues that I won’t get into here but I will say it reached the point where my parents forced me into counseling.  I’m not saying you should or need the same, I’m just stating it so you know where I’m coming from & I can relate to how you’re feeling.

You’re an inch taller than me and about 40lbs lighter. Granted, I’m about 30lbs heavier than I should be but you are definitely safely within your range for your height & weight and I’d venture to guess you’ve got a small frame. I’m not a Dr. but I can say that you can’t look & compare yourself with pictures from your teens. Your musculoskeletal system was still developing at that stage and if you’ve just turned 20 it probably still is. I don’t think I really had boobs till I was 23.

If you truly feel the need to lose weight, I know it sounds cheezy but go talk to your Dr. or a nutritionist first & see what they have to say. Maybe your “whale” feeling comes from water retention and you don’t even know it. Maybe you’re working out to lose weight an instead you’re gaining muscle. You should absolutely talk to a professional they can probably help you more than you know and more importantly they’ll stop you from drastic dieting that can make you sick.

Best of luck, everyone’s here for you and feel free to PM me should you need to.

Post # 13
1108 posts
Bumble bee

Osaka, I think that realizing why is a big help.

My mom is/was the same way, and I’ve bounced all over the size/weight spectrum.  It’s helpful to be out of the situation, but it’s always going to nag at you, when the person that’s supposed to love you no matter what bases everything on your size/shape, and judges everyone by it.

I’ve settled down to what I’ve been told is “normal/thin”, but I think I could stand another few.  I don’t think my body agrees, which is a pain. At the same time I am trying not to end up in the same boat as my mom, especially since I think “the crazy” (as I like to call it) may be hereditary.  

My unrealistic, fantasy jerk-goal is to weigh less than my mom, so I can call her fat, but that’s neither helpful nor healthy…

Post # 14
5 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hi there.  I am 5’1.75″ (hehe almost 5’2″) and have bounced between 100# and 140# depending on my stress levels and relationship with food.  Now I manage my stress differently, eat healthfully, walk alot, and am 108#.  I am still busty and curvy at that with a little belly pooch which is genetic to me.  My sister is a tall and skinny ballerina type with no chest, belly, or hips.  Some dresses look stunning on me and project that marilyn monroe look, others still make me look chunky! I always thought my sister’s model body would allow her to look beautiful in ALL clothes, but it doesn’t!  She looks horrible in my dresses as I do in hers.  Pay attention to what is proven (tried and true) flattering on you, and avoid the other stuff.  Only try on dresses if you know that the shape, cut, drape, and design will look great, especially if trying on the others makes you feel badly.  Know youself well and treat yourself well. In the meanwhile, be happy, eat good foods, and exercise. Simple.

Post # 15
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with Dancy905–my body changed so much from when I was 17 to early 20’s, and I didn’t actually gain more than maybe a couple of pounds.  My body shape was what changed, and it felt like a huge change.  Not only did I suddenly get hips, but I also somehow gained the ability to have muscle definition, both of which were total shocks. 

But I also get the Mom thing.  Growing up, it was always that I was “normal” and my brother was “skinny.”  I swear she gave us both complexes for the opposite reasons!  I hated hearing I was normal–I wanted to be skinny.  And my brother hated being called skinny, since all he wanted was to be normal.  The truth is, we come from very thin parents and are in turn, also very thin. 

Plus, honestly, seeing the wedding dress sizes can’t help.  NO ONE wants to see themselves in a dress sized 3-4 sizes larger than they usually wear!! 

When I’m having a body image hang-up, I try and think of two things: 1) My feelings are not the same as the truth, and I’m smart enough to know which is which; and 2) My fiance thinks I’m the hottest woman in the world, so why should I care what others think?  🙂 

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