(Closed) Uninterested Bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have a similar sitatution. It’s not being petty at all to be annoyed as this is your special day and you want others to be exited for you espeially the people you have asked to be in your bridal party.

I have 5 bridesmaids and 4 of them are very easy going and just go with the flow but one who is my close friend..seems to disagree with everything I pick even down to criticizing the dress I picked for myself!!! My wedding isnt for over a year and I definetly dont want drama in the wedding party.

Hope fully your friend and mine will change there attitude about our big day and be excited for us and we would be for them on there big day! Good luck with everything! Your very lucky to have a Maid/Matron of Honor that is helping you and being supportive which is why you asked her to do that job in the first place!

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@kroughy89:  I know people say this all the time, and it’s hard for some brides to accept, but no one will care about your wedding as much as you do. Your other Bridesmaid or Best Man has a life…and it sounds like a pretty awesome one at that. She has her own things to worry about, and she’s not goign to want to gush about your wedding 24/7. Her job is to buy a dress and show up on the wedding day to support you. Anything else is just a bonus.

Post # 6
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@2PeasinaPod:  Exactly my thoughts!! 

As a long distance bridesmaid in many weddings, being ‘interested’ is a tough thing to do too!!  If being ‘interested’ means helping out, being at appt’s, etc.  That does not mean I was not excited for my friends and their big day…I just did not think about it every day!! 

I was there when I was expected to be, and that makes for an excellent bridesmaid!!

Post # 8
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@2Peasinapod: I do agree that everyone has there own life. And it is true no one will be more excited about your wedding than you (maybe not even your fiance lol) but it would be nice to have a little support like kroughy89 says she hasnt asked for anything extra from her friend. In my case I was called a “bridezilla” just for stating that the choices for my wedding are primarily mine and when there weddings roll around then it will be there choices and our support they would want!!

 

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

From what I understand, you are upset that your bridesmaid cannot travel to try on a dress being made for her? 

i know some brides have a very specific ‘look’ thought out for their bridesmaids, but sometimes people can’t travel before the wedding.  That sounds like what is going on here.  I mean yes, it isn’t a super long journey from Ireland to Cornwall by plane, but it still takes time, money, and possibly days off from work, which she might be saving for your wedding.

Could your nan mail her the dress and she can try it on and take a photo of it?  Then get alterations done locally?

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@futuremrsfitz18:  This…

 @kroughy89:  Sorry, but I stand by what I said. She’s probably at a much different place in her life. I’m sorry she’s not interested, but being long distance and having to travel home just to try on a dress is something silly to get upset over IMO. Why not just put all of the dresses side by side? Why do you have to see them on all of your bridesmaids all at once? I understand wanting her to get fitted for the dress, but if you already have it, ship it to her so that it can get altered. 

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@kroughy89:  

I totally agree with you. These women have accepted the honor of being your bridesmaids. It IS an honor!! Bridesmaids need to treat it as such. I have been a bridesmaid a few times and I know I will be at least another 2times! You get excited. You support the bride. You be happy and positive and excited! That is in the job description!! And this bride is your dear friend – this should not be a hard thing to do. My goodness, are people so selfish that they cannot share the joy and happiness of this time with a good friend?? Its a once in a lifetime event! Make the damn time for someone who is meant to be important to you!! kroughy89 – You have every right to be offended/hurt/annoyed and cranky with this girl. You need to have a long talk with her and kindly tell her this is a HUGE time for you and you’d appreciate it is she could get excited for you and make some room for you in her (new) life. It should not need to be said or asked though, friendship is a 2 way street. It sounds like you are interested in the friendship while she has moved on (for now). Bring her back down to earth.

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