(Closed) uninterested maid of honor

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

is your wedding really Oct 2012??   your sister may see this as such  a long way away whereas right now she is sick and she needs groceries for herself and her child – its a matter of priorities.  and if her life is as bad as you say she might be suffering from depression

 goodluck, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you both

Post # 5
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ack, I hear ya. It sounds like a very toxic situation right now and though she has some sound reasons to be as upset as she is, this is *not* a healthy foundation from which to proceed with her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Perhaps you can put it to her like this: Let her know that you understand she is being so very strong and undergoing a lot of pressure lately (I know, I know, just go with it for now…hehe 😉 ). This way, you’re acknowledging her world in some way. Then, ask her if she is still interested in being a BM? If she a) flips out at you and says well FINE I don’t want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, then it is *she* that has taken herself out of the running as opposed to you asking her to step down. It is now her CHOICE. Alternatively, if she b) says, you’re right this is too much for me right now and I should step down, again, she is taking herself out in a calmer manner. Finally c) she may say yes it is a lot but I do still want to be a part of your wedding so I will remain a Bridesmaid or Best Man. If she answers with c) let her know your parameters and then ask her once more if she’s cool with meeting *your* needs for this, because you are being mindful to consider *her* needs. What do you think? I hope this helps!

Post # 7
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You’re welcome! Glad to help. I’m in a similar situation and am going to have to bite the bullet and follow my own advice here pretty soon. Not looking forward to the confrontation, however mild I hope to couch it. Ahhhhhh, we shall see. Keep us posted and good luck!

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