Uninvited Bridesmaid

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

Pippop :  This is crap,  It is very cruel of her to let you believe that you were a bridesmaid for 10 months then yank the rug away.  I agree with everyone who says don’t contribute to her wedding. Personally I might consider having something else to do that day.

Post # 17
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Usually SOs are invited to the rehearsal dinner so if your boyfriend is in the wedding party you should definitely attend that and the wedding. But that is it.

Post # 18
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

I agree with  holisticbabe :  , you should be invited if your boyfriend is in the wedding party or the brother of the groom either way. It sounds like she does like you, so I’m curious what the reasoning was for her uninviting you as a bridesmaid? Guest book attendant, etc are dumb wedding things that I can’t believe people still do, so I would just attend as a guest.

 

side note- do people even give these tasks out anymore?!

Post # 19
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee

Was there a falling out or something?

Post # 20
Member
6793 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Pippop :  “But she did offer me to be a guest book attendant or use my creativity for her bachelorette party.”

What a slap in the face! So you can no longer be honored in her wedding party, but you can still do menial, boring tasks for her? How generous!

Post # 21
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

chocolateplease :  That is what I was wondering, but it sounds like she genuinely likes her. She was probably super emotional and excited which caused her to make irrational decisions.

TBH; I would never have my brother’s Girlfriend in my wedding party. What if they were to break up? Then I have my brother’s ex in my wedding photos. That’s just asking for a mess. Again, this is just me. I also feel the same way about newer friends and will only have the OGs in my party.

Post # 22
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee

Not to be a total Debbie downer, but is it possible the bride knows something about your relationship with your boyfriend that you don’t? Like is she possibly worried you won’t be around for much longer and thus have it be awkward that you were a bridesmaid? 

Because that’s the only reason I would ask a sibling’s SO to step down. 

The alternative is just that she’s really rude. 

Post # 23
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee

curiouscat2017 :  bingo. This sounds like it might be it. Same thing happened to some friends of ours. Sister was getting married. Brother had a long time live in gf of 7 yrs. Sister asked brother point blank are you going to marry this girl. If so, I’ll make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man. He said no. So she didn’t ask her. It was a drama. 

Post # 24
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

curiouscat2017 :   chocolateplease :  Good points. She also mentioned that her boyfriend was the one that gave her the heads up about being uninvited, so he and the future sister-in-law had already spoken about it. If that were the case I could understand not wanting to immortalize her (for lack of a better word) in the wedding photos if she doesn’t foresee her being a permanent family member. 

I hope this isn’t it, but have you spoken more to your boyfriend about it? What did he say led up to the initial discussion with her?

Post # 25
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

Pippop :  Please dont feel embarassed. She is the one who should be. Do not take any tasks, just go enjoy the wedding!

Post # 26
Member
3838 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Go along to the wedding, eat, drink, have fun and dance with your boyfriend. Congratulate the couple graciously, but don’t take on any duties or go out of your way to help out. 

Post # 27
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You’re a regular guest, so act like it. Meaning, don’t plan parties or do work at the wedding. I’m pretty sure people can figure out how to sign their name anyway. 

That’s odd behavior and she shouldn’t have asked you if she didn’t want you. But I agree with the others saying that you might want to talk to your boyfriend. 

Post # 28
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Attend as a guest only if you think it would stir the pot within the family if you bailed on the whole event, but you aren’t under any obligation to help her plan anything and she doesn’t deserve your creativity or time spent monitoring a book. 

Post # 29
Member
623 posts
Busy bee

I am so curious now on what has happened since…. *sitting on edge of seat for an update*

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