(Closed) Uninvited from Rehearsal Dinner

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bailey12:  Ridiculous is right! Your fiance did the right thing by sticking up for you in the face of such thoughtlessness. 

And you’re not the reason the best man won’t be making the rehearsal dinner. The groom’s crappy manners are the reason. 

Post # 5
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Uninviting… is never cool.

BUT your Fiance was clearly in the wrong for calling up the Groom’s Mom and leaving a voice-mail message that said basically “Be damned she’s coming” to the Hostess of this event

That was BEYOND RUDE

I get that you guys are upset (and I probably would be too if I was “uninvited”)

BUT as I see it you only have two options…

Get over it…

OR escalate the whole situation (you guys continue to be mad – your Fiance not go to the Rehearsal Dinner – your Fiance back out of being the Best Man – don’t invite this guy’s wife to the events at your Wedding despite the fact that you plan to have her there, as he is your Best Man too – or back out on the guy being your Best Man)

In reality… NONE of that is going to go well.  And obviously cause much strife in your friendships (maybe be the end of them)

I am guessing your friend knows this (he’d have to be a fool not too)

So I’m guessing he’s in a situation between a rock and a hard spot with his family … maybe he didn’t convey that to your Fiance (maybe money is really really tight and they’ve decided to Invite NO PLUS ONES for the Rehearsal Dinner ?)

Whatever… you can get over it or not.  Good friends probably would.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 7
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@bailey12:  but you aren’t the reason. The reason is they couldn’t make enough room for you and your FH really did the right thing. It’s their own fault the best man won’t be there. 

Post # 8
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bailey12:  How did their conversation end? Did your fiance say he wasn’t going and the groom accepted that answer? If so, I’d say they must not be that great of friends… I would think if the groom was really a close friend and a good guy (and fit to be the best man in your wedding), he would see how important you are to your Fiance and realize how ubelievably rude it was to uninvite you after already inviting you in the first place. 

Post # 9
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@This Time Round:  huh? Her fiance called the mother to confirm they were both coming because both of their names were on the invitation for the event. He was basically RSVPing for both invitees by phone.

Did I get that right, OP?

 

Post # 11
Member
3104 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@This Time Round:  where did he call and say ‘be damned she’s coming’. It sounds like he RSVPd for the two of them to the mom and was called back by the groom. I think uninviting the OP is the egregious error here. 

Post # 12
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@bailey12:  How tacky! I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think you should let your Fiance bow out of the rehearsal dinner. I know I would definitely do that if my (live-in) SO weren’t invited to the rehearsal dinner if I were a bridesmaid. It’s not okay for your FI’s friend disrespect you like that. If anyone should feel bad, it should be the groom.

Post # 15
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It is customary to invite significant others of the bridal party to rehersal dinner, especially spouses and fiances.  Cheers to your fiance for sticking up you.  try not to feel guilty.  The groom made a decision and he needs to know that theret,  are ramifications to that, meaning your fiance won’t be there.

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