Post # 1
So I sent out my totally awesome invites. I wrote NAMES and NUMBER of seats reserved per guest to ensure that I had TOTAL control over the guests. HA! You never have total control over anything. Ever. So my FI’s uncle will be bringing his girlfriend (who I didn’t know about and who clearly wasn’t even invited) to our wedding. He’s telling me this in advance, but still, I didn’t plan to have her attend. In his mind it’s TOTALLY ok because FI’s aunt can’t come (who did receive an invite) so he figures his girlfriend will just take her place. I am torn between telling him she ISN’T invited (which would result in him probably not coming) or leaving her place card blank (like an extra) or giving her his aunt’s placecard as a "mistake." Grr. I met the lady once. I don’t remember her name or face and no one has mentioned her until now. Since there will only be like 25 people at our wedding, having someone there that I don’t know…is…obvious to me, but maybe not anyone else.
Oh well. I’ll prolly suck it up and just replace his aunt with this lady but…the control freak in me is not happy about it!
Post # 3
I’m sorry! Since its family, though, I would just grin and bear it. I know how tempting it is to ‘accidentally’ give her a different card, but in the end be a gracious bride toward your uncle who ran it past you (well kind of) instead of just showing up with her!
Post # 4
Yeh, this would bug me too. I would probably just suck it up though (as irritating as it will be). You likely won’t notice here there (well, other than the bill you’ll receive for her plate!) & in the end you don’t anger an uncle, you know?
Ps. I’m assuming this aunt and uncle are no longer married?
Post # 5
start wishing they breakup before the wedding 🙂
Post # 6
also keep in mind she might not know she was not invited as he might have handled the invite, so making her unwelcome might be mis-placed!
Post # 7
I’d still leave a placecard for his "aunt" (the real one) out and hope she sees it. I have pms. I keep having to say this over and over.
Why is she um…not a very welcome guest?
Post # 8
That really sucks. That is one of my biggest fears.
Post # 9
ya i wanted to be that specific on my rsvp but got a long lecture from my mom and Future Mother-In-Law but so far nothing crazy yet, an extra guest or two for a few rsvps that i could do without but oh well
Post # 10
It’s not that she’s unwelcome, I guess I’m just a complete control freak. I put names on the invites for a reason you know? I’ll have a place card for her and all, I’m just annoyed that FI’s uncle didn’t call to ask us if it was ok, he just assumed it would be fine. I mean, hello! The names on the invites have food choices next to them as well as RSVP for the reception AND a baseball game which I bought out a suite for. It would be nice to know how many baseball tickets I’ll need! Really it’s just that I’ve overplanned everything and unexpected surprises are killing the plan, LOL. (I have wedding OCD…) In any case, let this be a lesson to me. You can’t plan for everything even when you did, in fact, plan for everything.
Post # 11
Ugh, this is totally annoying, and as someone who had a small wedding, I totally sympathize! When you aren’t having a big crowd, every face counts…..and when you have someone random, they stick out like a sore thumb! We had TWO random uninvited people show up with no advance notice or even a mention that they would be coming from the people who brought them! In the end though, just give your caterer the best head count you can, and have A FEW blank place cards. I had my Mother-In-Law put out blank cards for them once they showed up but it was definately annoying! Invites, assumed invites, requests to bring dates/friends, and lack of RSVP cause all kinds of irritation when planning a wedding!
Post # 12
That sounds like you went to some great steps to make sure everybody was included and such detail! I understand how you feel.