(Closed) Uninvited guests

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We are not having ANY guests under the age of 12 (even my Fiance nephew who will be 1 1/2).  When people asked about it, we very diplomatically told them that this is an adult event (and basically indicated that it wasn’t up for discussion by our tone of voice).  You could always add something about how you are really looking forward to seeing them (the adults) at the wedding, but you understand if they are unable to come due to their parental obligations.  

Post # 4
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had a friend who noted “Adults only reception” on their invitation which I thought was perfect. Most recently, this past weekend, another friend apparently put “No children allowed” on the BACK of her invitation. My mom didn’t see it (who was my friend’s JP) didn’t see it and brought my 11 year old niece- who lives with my Mom.

My friend got upset because apparently somehow my niece wound up in her ceremony pictures. I guess she was taking pictures of the ceremony.. My friend sent my mom an email saying she was none too please, it was unacceptable and my niece ruined ALL of her pictures. They had to redo the ceremony to get new pics. My mom thought my niece had moved, she asked her to then I am sure got all caught up in the ceremony. I am sure it was a mess. I didn’t witness anything because I was unable to attend. But man. I can understand her being upset, but she should have approached the no kids thing a little better.. the BACK of the invitation? I never look at the back of an invitation.

You reserve the right to say no kids or yes kids. They have the right to be upset about it, especially if it wasn’t mentioned or spread by word of mouth. In my case, I am not putting no kids on invitations. If they want to bring their kids then that’s fine. I have 9 nieces and nephews so it would be impossible for me to say no kids. I have had a few people say they won’t bring their kids unless they can’t find a sitter. I have some family members that I KNOW will bring their kids, while others that won’t. If they are a baby, I am not counting them in my headcount. There is no reason to. THey aren’t eating dinner and not using a chair. My venue charges a discounted price for kids 9 and under so that helps as well.

Anyway, you have the right to not allow children, you are spending a fortune to share your day with these people. They should respect your wishes and if they can’t then they should stay home! Sorry.. that’s a little harsh. 🙂

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